Supreme Court Decision - Ducks, Masters of Amusement

Antonin Scalia, United States Supreme Court Judge received a 2nd lifetime achievement award.
It is a duck ...... sort of a commentary regarding Scalia's hunting trip with Dick Cheney.
Scalia's response was, "Nothing is as funny as a duck."

Now that we have a Supreme Court decision regarding ducks and humor, one must interpret the decision.

Did he mean that, with respect to a duck, ZERO is equally funny?
Or ........... did he intend to establish a duck as the acme of humor?
Does this apply to ducks (plural) or only to some specific (singular) duck?

Fortunately, from the games of soccer and cricket, we know that a score of ZERO is called a "Duck" ..... ie., "At the game yesterday, the Mashers scored 2 points while the Stompers got a duck."

In other words, "Nothing" IS a "Duck".
Put another way, "A duck IS nothing."
Therefore a truism exists: "Nothing is as funny as a duck."
AND "A duck is as funny as nothing."

Of course, such a line of reasoning is simple folly.
There can be little doubt that Judge Scalia's decision can be most accurately restated as:

"A duck is the epitome of jocularity."

The Keys to the Whole Situation

These could be Florida keys .... but right now they are in Arkansas. The Duck Tool Box set has locks and keys. The keys are on a duck key chain and a Ducks Unlimited key fob.

Locks are sort of like smoking cigarettes. If it wasn't for cigarette smoking, there wouldn't be so many creative ashtrays, lighters, cigarette cases and other accessories.

Key create a market for a hugh variety of key related items .... some of them being DUCK related.

Fortunately I am just a duck farmer. If I was a lock smith .... then I would have to think about locks ..... Goldilocks, the Loch Ness monster, Lox & Bagels ....

Is a Duck Key ...... ducky? Duck Key is also one of the Florida Keys, between Conch Key and Marathon. If somebody says, "Gimme da key," it takes a keen ear and the context of the situation to know exactly what the statement means.

Perhaps keys should go the way of cigarettes ..... just outlaw locks and keys .... such things are just symbols of privacy anyway ....

Without locks and keys, society could free up all the people engaged in that business and the related trappings .... store shelves would have more space ..... it would be great!

Of course there would be some diehard finding uses for key rings and key fobs anyway ... ornaments for pierced noses, paperclip organizers, measuring spoon holders, etc.

Is it the keys of life or the kiss of life? ..... da kiss or duh kiss? Without exact enunciation duh kiss is DUCKS!

Quack, Quack!

Um ..... Bill ....... Lick ..... Cool

I don't know this duck's name. Maybe it is Bill. We'll say his name is Bill. He's pretty cool.

He can take a lick.

Hit him in the stomach and he quacks.

There is an electronic quacker somewhere around his belly button.

Of course, since ducks are hatched, they don't have belly buttons.

But Bill has a belly button. If you press the button, he quacks.

Otherwise he just sits on the couch in silence.

Bill is not a couch potato. He is a couch duck.

The way you can tell the difference is that potatoes do not quack.

Ducks and potatoes both have eyes, they are both edible.

Potatoes are more like a duck-billed platypus ... they are both from "down" under.

I don't think a platypus or a potato ...... I don't think they have down.

They don't have down under or over. Ducks have down under their feathers.

Quack, Quack!

Giant Duck - 4 Foot Duckling on the Rampage!

Where does a 500 pound canary roost?
.... anywhere he wants ...... yes, but how 'bout a 4 foot duckling?

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=32420283

Sitting Ducks

You can watch TV on your polluter.
One of the greatest shows in the world is "Sitting Ducks".
It is about the comraderie of ducks and alligators.
Here is the link.
http://www.fancast.com/tv/Sitting-Ducks/96457/watch-it/on-fancast

If people spent more time thinking about ducks,
They'd spend less time thinking about other things.

Quack, Quack!

Innovation of the Year Award

"Southern rock songs are just like southern yards, covered with crap. But we southerners, even displaced northerner southerners like myself, love having piles of useless crap in our yards. We also love southern rock, but we do appreciate those rare occasions when one of our neighbors puts some air in his trailer tires and takes a load of crap to the dump." - Dave Renfro

This may look like a broken down truck but actually it is a combination dumpster/mailbox.

It is mostly white and represents an excellent form of recycling and multi-tasking. Some folks wrongly think that their military service and the military service of their forefathers entitles them to buy a piece of land and live on it, storing what they like, as they please .... freedom.

Them rednecks can't even spell free-dumb ..... freed'em is only for slaves. Everybody else is supposed to live in a standard normal place that looks something like Homer Simpson's neighborhood. American's are not supposed to have to look at stuff they don't understand, like a yard full of old bulldozers or who-knows-what-else somebody might leave laying around.

The main purpose of "fighting for one's country" is to gain an appreciation for things like chain-of-command and orderliness.

Although the dumpster/mailbox wins the Rod's Duck Farm Innovation of the Year Award, I'm sure it is not up to normal standards. It will have to go. Probably there is some kind of constitutional issue, like the separation of Mailbox and Dumpster.

Did the unit evolve, or was it created? Perhaps if the creator will provide an affidavit and testify that the Mailbox Dumpster simply evolved, the Household Input/Output System can remain.

"Freedom's just another word for nothin-left-to-lose ..." Janus

More Stuff

At first glance this is reminescent of white space. One thinks windows.... Windows 98?

Why not Vista or something?

But it is so much more than windows. There are hinges, handles, glass, fasteners to affix the handles and hinges, glazing pins to hold the glass in the frames ..... things get so complicated so quickly. How much is too much? Throw out the glazing pins or the wood screws?

Wow!!!! There's no window latch(es). Probably should have just left the wall alone .... simple white space with no hole, no window.

Quack, Quack!