How to Make a Watch Crystal

You've seen that sign next to bridges ... "Watch For Ice" .... Of course, that's a lie. I went to the road department with some ice and indicated my intention to take them up on the offer to trade a watch for ice. Now I wasn't expecting anything fancy, a cheap digital watch would be fine.

I was equally disappointed to discover that watch crystals aren't crystals. They are plastic ..... frequently acrylic plastic .... clear acrylic plastic. Researching the topic of clear plastics uncovered even more idiosyncracy. For plastics, "more clear" means "less crystalline".

I put a piece of acrylic plastic sheet into a deep fat fryer full of hot oil. That made the sheet soft. Then I took the sheet out and placed it over the end of a vacuum cleaner hose. The vacuum cleaner was turned on. It sucked the plastic a little way into the hose. I removed the plastic from the end of the hose. There was a little dome-shaped area formed into the plastic sheet. I thought, "Huh .... that looks like a watch crystal. Eureka!!!! I have discovered a pretty easy way to make domed faces for watches and clocks and cameos and stuff. I think I will tell somebody. I think I will tell the whole world. I will write it on the most noted blog in the universe .... Rod's Duck Farm."

But now I'm not so sure. I think maybe I will just write it on a filecard and stick it under the spare tire in the trunk of Leta Mae's car. I went to Wal-Mart and asked if I could get a crystal for my watch. The clerk said, "I'll check." Then he picked up the intercom and announced, "Crystal, customer service in the jewelry department."