Monday, September 17, 2007

Veggie Duck

This duck was emailed to me one day. It is a vegetable duck. I don't know if the vegetables were organically grown or not. I'm not even sure if it is still vegetables after being formed into a duck. This is evolution at its finest. What I really wonder about is the relationship between for-getable and ve-getable ..... are they both edible? I think maybe it is roman numerals :
I-getable, II-getable, III-getable, IV-getable, V-getable
A medium onion has 60 calories, 1 gram of protein, 14 grams carbohydrate, 10 mg sodium, and 200mg potassium. A banana has 450 mg potassium and 109 calories. Sooooo...... they are pretty close, onions and bananas, in providing potassium.
I'm NOT sure how much potassium is in a Duck. I think it depends on whether they like bananas and onions.
Quack, Quack!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Chicken Surprise

Although this blog is a DUCK blog, Springdale, Arkansas is big in the Chicken Business.
This story came in from Pat Adams and is for those of you thinking chickens or those with a culinary aura.
Quack, Quack!

Chicken Surprise
A couple goes out for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises
Slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid
slams back down. "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again
the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.
"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"
The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."
You're going to love this...
No, you're going to hate yourself for loving this!
"Ah,! So sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck!"

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Baby Duck

Dave notes that bodies can be disguised ... covered with refrigerators, sod, etc.
Here's a toy doll baby covered with toy duck pajamas.
Most towns have hospitals. The hospitals have nurseries for the babies. And usually there is the aroma of a Kentucky Fried Chicken across the street, or at least nearby.
My friend, Ron worked as a maintenance man at a hospital. His wife was a nurse. Ron served in the Army before he married, during the Vietnam war. I was in the Army about the same time. One of the guys I kept bumping into always looked so sharp and neat I finally asked what laundry he used. He explained that the laundries were not capable of high quality clothes care, that he did his own. He said that he would show me how if I wanted. It turned out that he did wash, starch, and iron his own clothes very meticulously. He had to look perfect at all times because he was a member of the Honor Guard. He would march in parades, perform guard duty outside the offices of dignitaries, and carry caskets at military funerals.
Ron, on the other hand, was not in such an esteemed position. He was the body bag man. He was kind of a logistics guy, making sure the bags coming in off the planes had tags and got transferred to the right places.
I preferred my job in the signal corps to either one of those jobs.
Later in life, when Ron was in maintenance, I was in charge of the bags - but not body bags, trash bags. I had a job with a garbage company - municipal waste disposal.
Ron explained that he was involved with waste disposal also. The hospital had an incinerator that sometimes didn't work perfectly. They would save up the miscellaneous body parts in a refrigerator until there was a load for the gas-fired incinerator. Part of Ron's job was to shovel out the ashes. But frequently the incinerator just didn't get hot enough for long enough and there was just cooked pieces. On TV, they say cooked people smell like chicken. Ron never commented about the odor.
The body is shed as a butterfly sheds its cocoon. The spirit enters a new form.
Sometimes I prefer to think about ducks!

Monday, September 3, 2007

Strung Out

A puppet ... a marionette ... a doll .... an animated figurine. It is a duck. It is a Christian Duck because its every move is based on the cross, as if it were tied to the cross. Some think the duck has hang-ups. You can look at the calendar duck, even though it is undressed. The only time you see ducks with dressing is at the dinner table - Thanksgiving for example.
I dug up my potatoes today. I only planted two potatoes. Actually I was trying to grow a rose from a cutting. Sometimes it is possible to propagate roses from clippings by poking a hole in a potato and sticking a rose clipping in the hole, then planting the potato. After a whole summer and no new roses, it turns out I have about 5 pounds of potatoes. This is one of those "You can't lose" deals. If everything goes right, you get roses. If not, you get spuds. Rose hips have vitamin C. Potatoes don't have vitamin C. Rose hips don't make good fries, chips, or hash browns.
The price of propane is about to go up. I am about to have my propane tank filled for the coming winter. Somehow, the price always rises just before I do that. I don't know what the "pro" in propane is about. Is it like professional pane or is it the opposite of antipane? A friend had a Grandma Payne. Maybe it is about airplanes? Instead of pilots being insane, perhaps they are prop-ane. Then again, with computers, to pan is to scroll. The "e" is a symbol for Explorer. Maybe pro-pan-e simply refers to being in favor of scrolling through things with Internet Explorer.
But I cut the grass and discovered an old deep freezer. Inside the deep freezer I discovered parts for whirligig ducks. I am guessing I put those parts in that refrigerator. What to do next?
I am thinking about retiring for the evening and doing something else tomorrow.
Quack, Quack!