Thursday, December 27, 2007

Christmas at the Duck Farm

Quite a variety of ducks migrated to the Duck Farm in December 2007. The museum of duckological artifacts grows by leaps and bounds.
hmmmmm.... is leaps and bounds correct? Wouldn't that be the way a frog exhibit expands?
How does a duck menagerie increase?
Ducks waddle, dive, fly, paddle, quack, and ................ that's it ..... soar ..... they soar!!!!
The Museum of Duckological Artifacts soars to new heights.
Choosing a favorite is impossible.
There is one that particularly attracts my attention. The blue book titled "The Little Duck Who Loved the Rain" by Peter Mabie. Once, this book was part of the Baldwin County Library in Milledgeville, Georgia. Milledgeville is the home of the State Mental Institution, a place where being "quackers" is the norm. One thing I wonder is who really wrote the book. They might as well say "anonomous" as Peter Mabie. Maybe Peter or Joe or Floyd or possibly even Sally.
But definitely:
Happy New Year!
Quack, Quack!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

video

I got a new duck for Christmas .... actually I got it in August. Well, I ordered it in August but in September, I was informed that my duck was back-ordered. It finally arrived at the distributor in December. They mailed it to me on December 17th and it arrived at the Duck Farm on Christmas Eve.

It is a pretty big duck but it flies very well and is quite colorful.

In contrast to the Official Rod's Duck Farm duck, this duck is more like a weather vane since it points into the wind instead of 90 degrees to the wind.

This duck is also in line with the Duck Farm creed:

"Good things come to those who wade"

Quack, Quack!

July and it arrived on Christmas eve. It is a Premier Kites duck but you have to order from a distributor. The distributor informed me that my duck had been back-ordered so

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Merry Christmas

video

Christmas blessings to you from Rod's Duck Farm.

Here at the Duck Farm, we've got it all:

Health, Snow, and Ducks.

If you click the arrow under the picture, a short video of Leta Mae

and Eric might play. Leta Mae has a speaking part.

If your loved ones are mean and thoughtless and make you

stand around in the snow, and then post pictures for all the

world to see, just remember:

2,000 years ago, there was a feller that had a similar problem.

But he just went ahead and loved everybody anyway.

Today, you are loved beyond measure.

And that's Christmas.

Love from the Duck Farm,

Rod

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Sparks Flying

video

Some may think this post to be unrelated to ducks.

It is blacksmithing in the tradition of Laos and China.

Note the anvil .... it is a sledge hammer head embedded in a log.

The forge is simple a box filled with packed dirt with a push/pull blower.

Anyway, this is an introducktion to oriental blacksmithing.

He makes his own charcoal .... and everything else, except for the dirt.

God made the dirt.

Quack, Quack!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Swiss Army Duck?



One of these days I'm gonna be in big trouble. One of my favorite Keyfobs came from Art & Linda Clark .... a duck/knife/keyfob. I'm always forgetting that I have a "weapon" on my key-ring. But some day I'll be passing through a checkpoint and an observant security agent will say "Ah Ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Didn't think I'd catch you, did you? Trying to slip through with an armed duck, are you? Well, buck-a-roo, you have done and met yer match!!! The little duck AND your dog, Toto, will find life in "confiscated property" quite interesting. Also, I believe you will be entertained by your visit with the FBI!!!!!"
"Do I get a phone call?"
"What? A phone call? You expect me to fall for that one? Call up some cell phone and enter the secret code that activates a timer setting off untold explosions ..... absolutely not, no phone call for you."
"Can I go to the restroom?"
"For your spying & counter-intelligence activities? Maybe a little s-peein'-age? Absolutely not! No way Jose."
"Hey this shirt don't say Jose's Duck Farm!"
"So you are a non-un-duckumented knife wielding maniac with the wrong name on your duck shirt? You admit to attempted impersonation of Jose's Duck Farm? "
*****************************************
But in the meantime, the duck/knife/keyfob is a glorious bit of duckological treasure.
Quack, Quack!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Breifcase

Sometimes I open my breifcase upside down, even though there are ducks on the top side.
When I open my breifcase upside down, all the stuff falls out since the lid is not as deep as the case.

The reason is that the ducks are facing left. My breifcase is emblazoned with leftist ducks. They think I should SHARE the contents of my breifcase with everyone else. So now I'm going even one better - I'm sharing the whole breifcase with the whole world.

Maybe that will break the tormenting spell of the leftist ducks.

From the bottom side of the breifcase, using my x-ray vision, the ducks appear to be facing right.

Note: Right and left should not be judged using x-ray vision.

Quack, Quack!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Pill-O

This is a duck pillow that Ed Gee discovered at a yard sale.
I'm just realizing how many O's there are. Jello, hello, cello, felloe, fellow, gallow, tomato, tornado ..... or you can just pick a word and add "O".
Right-O, O-possum, blot-O, American-O, estupid-O, rock-O, spaghetti-O .......
There's row, roe, arrow, and aero .... all too aerotic for me.
The US was complaining to former Mexican president, Vicente Fox, about all the drugs coming to the United States from Mexic-O. I think he understands the situation very well, Senor Fox said, "It is not just Mexic-O shipping, it is also America buying. I think it is a joint problem." What kind of joint was he talking about? A low-class retailer? An elb-O? Or something you're not supposed to bogart?
I got a new can O-pener at Wal-Mart today. I O-pened a can. The top of the can looked like an O.
I also got some life savers. They just looked like circles. Funny how some things are round or circular but not so much O-shaped. Much-O Gust-O
Quack-O, Quack-O!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Hood Or Nament


The hood ornament for the duck truck was once a diesel engine piston. Beneath the duck is a thin white horizontal strip .... a rubber logo strip from an Electrolux vacuum cleaner. Electrolux rhymes with duck. What the Electrolux does also rhymes with duck. There is a discernable Chevrolet emblem .... I prefer to think of it as a "plus" symbol.
Some say it is an S 10 .... pronounced S.... Ten ....
However, as Dave points out, Zero is another name for "duck"
Thus S10 is really "It's one duck" ....... S one zero....
By the way, the answer to Old MAcdonald's FArm is ....... DUCK!
e times i times e times i times zero is DUCK ..... zero
If people spent more time thinking about ducks, They'd spend less time thinking about other things,
Quack, Quack!

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Quack Quilt

This quilt has matching pillows. My mother made it. She made the pillows also. She used to have a duck pond and some ducks. My sister liked to eat the ducks. Sometimes she would have a hankerin' for a duck and she would tell my mother to have my step dad go kill one of the ducks for her. Ducks should be de-feathered before consumption. There is a good way to pluck a duck. Of course, first, the duck should be killed. Then you need a big pot of melted paraffin. You can try hot water, but then you have the "water off a duck's back" problem. The paraffin is a hydrocarbon, similar to the coating on duck feathers. Dip the duck ...... huh, huh, huh .... dip the duck .... like you're dancing with ducks .... nope, dancing with wolves is cool ... dancing with ducks? Oh yeah, the paraffin .... it sticks to the duck feathers. you take the duck out of the molten paraffin and let it cool a bit. The wax gets hard. You peel the wax off like you wuz appealing a tangerine. Then you throw the feathers back in the melty wax and strain the wax so you can pluck another duck or make candles or seal jelly jars or something. But the duck will not have sections like a tangerine ... even if you make duck l'orange.
My mother does not have ducks anymore. She had a hog farm. But as society grew more so-fisticated the nay-boors decided the hogs smelled bad and might be a hazard to the whole world. So the Department of Pollution Control and Ecology shut down the hog farm business. Mom and step-dad sold the land and moved closer to town. Now my sister buys her ducks from Wal-Mart. I don't know what happened to the paraffin. They don't have paraffin anymore. They use beeswax. Beeswax is made by bees. Mama & Step-Dad raise honey bees. Honey is a natural antibiotic. If you eat honey, it is best to get honey made within about 10 miles of where you live. Honey made within 10 miles of where you live is made from pollen within 10 miles of where you live. If you have sinus problems, it is likely due to flowers within 10 miles of where you live. The local honey is claimed by some to be a kind of natural "antidote" to hay fever. If you get sick, you might get the chills. Then you could warm your feet in one of those paraffin footbaths and cuddle up with a duck quilt & duck pilow and watch something sappy on TV of maybe take a spoonful of honey. You could try honey & whiskey but then you would be sick AND confused. Maybe honey and an aspirin and a duck quilt and a duck pillow.
Quack, Quack!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Veggie Duck

This duck was emailed to me one day. It is a vegetable duck. I don't know if the vegetables were organically grown or not. I'm not even sure if it is still vegetables after being formed into a duck. This is evolution at its finest. What I really wonder about is the relationship between for-getable and ve-getable ..... are they both edible? I think maybe it is roman numerals :
I-getable, II-getable, III-getable, IV-getable, V-getable
A medium onion has 60 calories, 1 gram of protein, 14 grams carbohydrate, 10 mg sodium, and 200mg potassium. A banana has 450 mg potassium and 109 calories. Sooooo...... they are pretty close, onions and bananas, in providing potassium.
I'm NOT sure how much potassium is in a Duck. I think it depends on whether they like bananas and onions.
Quack, Quack!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Chicken Surprise

Although this blog is a DUCK blog, Springdale, Arkansas is big in the Chicken Business.
This story came in from Pat Adams and is for those of you thinking chickens or those with a culinary aura.
Quack, Quack!

Chicken Surprise
A couple goes out for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises
Slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid
slams back down. "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again
the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.
"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"
The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."
You're going to love this...
No, you're going to hate yourself for loving this!
"Ah,! So sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck!"

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Baby Duck


Dave notes that bodies can be disguised ... covered with refrigerators, sod, etc.
Here's a toy doll baby covered with toy duck pajamas.
Most towns have hospitals. The hospitals have nurseries for the babies. And usually there is the aroma of a Kentucky Fried Chicken across the street, or at least nearby.
My friend, Ron worked as a maintenance man at a hospital. His wife was a nurse. Ron served in the Army before he married, during the Vietnam war. I was in the Army about the same time. One of the guys I kept bumping into always looked so sharp and neat I finally asked what laundry he used. He explained that the laundries were not capable of high quality clothes care, that he did his own. He said that he would show me how if I wanted. It turned out that he did wash, starch, and iron his own clothes very meticulously. He had to look perfect at all times because he was a member of the Honor Guard. He would march in parades, perform guard duty outside the offices of dignitaries, and carry caskets at military funerals.
Ron, on the other hand, was not in such an esteemed position. He was the body bag man. He was kind of a logistics guy, making sure the bags coming in off the planes had tags and got transferred to the right places.
I preferred my job in the signal corps to either one of those jobs.
Later in life, when Ron was in maintenance, I was in charge of the bags - but not body bags, trash bags. I had a job with a garbage company - municipal waste disposal.
Ron explained that he was involved with waste disposal also. The hospital had an incinerator that sometimes didn't work perfectly. They would save up the miscellaneous body parts in a refrigerator until there was a load for the gas-fired incinerator. Part of Ron's job was to shovel out the ashes. But frequently the incinerator just didn't get hot enough for long enough and there was just cooked pieces. On TV, they say cooked people smell like chicken. Ron never commented about the odor.
The body is shed as a butterfly sheds its cocoon. The spirit enters a new form.
Sometimes I prefer to think about ducks!

Monday, September 3, 2007

Strung Out

A puppet ... a marionette ... a doll .... an animated figurine. It is a duck. It is a Christian Duck because its every move is based on the cross, as if it were tied to the cross. Some think the duck has hang-ups. You can look at the calendar duck, even though it is undressed. The only time you see ducks with dressing is at the dinner table - Thanksgiving for example.
I dug up my potatoes today. I only planted two potatoes. Actually I was trying to grow a rose from a cutting. Sometimes it is possible to propagate roses from clippings by poking a hole in a potato and sticking a rose clipping in the hole, then planting the potato. After a whole summer and no new roses, it turns out I have about 5 pounds of potatoes. This is one of those "You can't lose" deals. If everything goes right, you get roses. If not, you get spuds. Rose hips have vitamin C. Potatoes don't have vitamin C. Rose hips don't make good fries, chips, or hash browns.
The price of propane is about to go up. I am about to have my propane tank filled for the coming winter. Somehow, the price always rises just before I do that. I don't know what the "pro" in propane is about. Is it like professional pane or is it the opposite of antipane? A friend had a Grandma Payne. Maybe it is about airplanes? Instead of pilots being insane, perhaps they are prop-ane. Then again, with computers, to pan is to scroll. The "e" is a symbol for Explorer. Maybe pro-pan-e simply refers to being in favor of scrolling through things with Internet Explorer.
But I cut the grass and discovered an old deep freezer. Inside the deep freezer I discovered parts for whirligig ducks. I am guessing I put those parts in that refrigerator. What to do next?
I am thinking about retiring for the evening and doing something else tomorrow.
Quack, Quack!




Friday, August 24, 2007


There are library tote bags with DUCKS! The plastic bags sport a duck with an umbrella with the slogan "Support Your Library". The appeal is pretty tempting since the library is obviously supporting ducks. But a library is supported by its foundation.
That reminds me of a Red Skelton episode of Gertrude and Eclipse.
(Gertrude and Eclipse were birds, maybe pelicans, that flew around and chatted about things.)
Eclipse: Gertrude, where are we going.
Gertrude: Down to the town square.
Eclipse: The town square? Why?
Gertrude: The mayor is supposed to lay a corner stone. That I gotta see. THAT I gotta see!!!

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Rodeo


Summertime is rodeo time.
Rod EO stands for "Rod - Equal Oportunity". No longer are summer sports just for bulls and horses. Now poultry can get in on the action.
This is a Tyson chicken riding a duckbilled platypus. A crowd of ducks makes up the audience. How long will the chicken be able to ride the platypus? Is this a wrestling match? Does the chicken have the platypus pinned down?
Quack, Quack!

Sunday, August 5, 2007

More Ducks

The Bass Pro Shop at Branson, Missouri has a mural on the wall. The ceiling has stuffed ducks suspended by fishing line. It looks like a flock of ducks are landing on the pond. There are not ducks in the mural although it looks like some of the ducks are painted on rather than being suspended. Skylights built into the mural & time of day didn't help the photo quality. I don't know who the folks in the foreground are. I got a duck coloring book.
By the way .... if today is your birthday, Happy Birthday.
If it is not your birthday, well ..... it was a 1 in 365 chance .... pretty good odds ....
You could say, it was ALMOST your birthday. In fact, give or take 183 days, it IS your birthday.
Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quack, Quack!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Moby Duck






Sister, Sharon, along with Dave & Sobriquet have helped with the adventures of the Duck Armada. Steve names the big duck "Moby Duck". Red Dirt Scribbles has a step-dad that carves duck decoys.
Check the webs/blogs!

http://tinyurl.com/338en7
(duck oriented website from soubriquet)

http://gritinthegears.blogspot.com/
(soubriquet)

http://www.blogger.com/profile/02317617928368945316
Missouri Duck Wrangler from Dave

http://www.florentijnhofman.nl/index.php?page=projects&id=50
(giant pvc duck in france)
The duck flotilla (a shipload of rubber ducks that fell overboard in the Pacific) is due to float up on the shores of the United Kingdom soon. In France, they have developed their own rubber duck, rubber-coated PVC.
Ducks are getting to be BIG business.
Quack, Quack!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Duck Farm News

Read Your Rod’s Duck Farm News ….. tooo many form letter words July 17, 2007

Soldiers and Cherry Trees. George Washington chopped down cherry trees. I should have taken the hint, but I planted a cherry tree on March 18th. April 14th, a National Guard guy spun off the road – knocking down the Duck Farm sign and shearing off the cherry tree.
DISCOVERIES:
-This year we used a space heater in Leta Mae’s car to keep ice from forming on the windshield and to pre-heat the interior. January 13th was a big ice storm so there was no church January 14th. Also the first day of school was canceled January 15th. Ducks got frozen in duck ponds and had to be chipped out.
-WD-40 … What to do with the little plastic straw/nozzle that comes taped to the side of the can? One of the more innovative persons observed that the can has a curved rim and the straw can be “wrapped” into the rim like a snap-ring. Sadly, I lacked sufficient patience to benefit from the technique. So I put the little red cap/cover back on the can, accepting failure. Then I noticed a groove molded into the cap. The straw fits in the groove! There should be more frequent and intensive training on how to use spray cans.
-Pain …. ibuprofen is an NSAID (pronounced In Said). I don’t use it because, to be most effective, the correct dose at consistent intervals is required. NSAIDS reduce inflamation. Less swelling, less pain – more joy. An alternative (search Google: olive oil pain relief) is olive oil. Eric notes, “Yeah, the Olive Oil thing would do pretty good since you would be eating it with meals … a consistent amount at consistent intervals.” Olive oil is considered by some to be an all-natural pain reliever for pregnant women.
FAMILY THINGS:
-Elder son, Adam, is now an apprentice mold-maker. He is learning to make and repair plastic injection molds …. if you wanted a plastic fork or duck or tail-light lens, molten plastic is squirted into a mold.
-Younger son, Eric, will finish his first year of employment at the end of August. If you have pushed a new elevator button recently, you and Eric have a common thread. He makes elevator buttons – elevator buttons for hospitals, Disney World, etc. Eric sent in his tax forms only to discover that his employer had entered the social security number with a couple numbers transposed. By the way, if your social security card is laminated, some government agencies won’t accept it and you might have to get a replacement card.
-Grandson William’s adventure was going through the doggy door, in and out of the house at his Grandma Myers.
-Nephew, Tim, and fiancee, Shiyi, tied the knot. Now I’m part Chinese!
-Northwest Arkansas still has a drive-in movie theater. Leta Mae & Eric and I went to see the new Pirates of the Caribbean and Ratataouille. Ratatouille echoes the joys and despairs of culinary wizards I have known. Pirates of the Caribbean – drifts in and out of “reality” giving the impression of a movie based on the dream/nightmare of a pirate.
-At the Skaggs reunion, the kiddie activity was making rubber band guns. Charley Reed was head of manufacturing.
-Independence Day, 4th of July, is for celebrating freedom. I spent the early morning working on ducks and the rest of the day driving around visiting friends. I smoked a whole pack of cigarettes, drank two pots of coffee, and ate a whole box of donuts. It was like ….. doing whatever I wanted.
February 7th, I was driving Leta Mae’s car and witnessed a scene from the movie “The Matrix” – rectangular object floating in the air. It turned out to be a large barn door, about 20 feet up in the air, having just blown off a trailer. I was driving 55 mph and figured it was going to shear off the roof of the car. Fortunately we hit a “glancing blow” and mostly broke the windshield and wiper motor.
My Mother went to a big shindig at the Peabody Hotel and brought souveniours!
Duck napkins and stirring sticks. She also got me a roll of duck wrapping paper.
Leta Mae and I went to see nephew, James, at Alexander, Arkansas. James has ducks and a duck pond!
Cavin Kimbriel sent a story about a kid that accidentally killed his grandmother’s duck. He tried to keep the incident a secret and his sister used the information to blackmail him into doing her chores. Unbeknownst to him, Grandma knew what was going on and waited for him to finally confess. It is a story with a moral that when we confess, God is faithful to forgive.
My Step-Mother sent a very special duck. (You’d have to know that my nickname is Bunny.) It is a duck/rabbit. Mostly duck with a duckly quack, it also has rabbit ears.
The Mighty Ducks ( Hockey team) are no longer mighty, they are the Anaheim Ducks. The name change was prophetic. No longer was there a doubt that they MIGHT win. They WON the Stanley Cup – Quack, Quack! Sister Sharon sent me an Anaheim Ducks T-Shirt commemorating the occasion. She also sent a cute You Tube video link about a Chinese puppy and baby duck that pal around a marketplace in China.

QUALITY CONTROL:
-At one time, Cowboys & Indians was the fun game to play. Nowadays it is Chinese and Indians. The folks in China and India are the manufacturing wizards of today. It’s hard to get a square deal anyplace else … Eric wanted a gage quality combination square set. He spent $200 for a Mitutoyo (Japanese) set that needed to be reworked to be acceptable … still, it was better than the American versions from Starrett or Browne & Sharp. The Browne & Sharp technical representative was not even familiar with the concept that a square can be a hi-precision instrument. Roughly equivalent to the Mitutoyo was the $23 Made-in-China square set. What I finally discovered is that the international standard for squares is exactly the same as the taper on a lathe mandrel. In other words, a square can be “out-of-square” by the amount that other tools are intentionally “cock-eyed”.
-Eric had a similar problem with work boots. For some reason, Dr. Martens footwear has a reputation for quality. Eric got some. They immediately started coming apart. There is no warrantee. The paperwork that comes with Dr. Martens states “…. it should give good wear life, without premature failure of the outsole , upper and upper stitching ….If the footwear becomes damaged, it will not continue to give the specified level of protection and to ensure that the wearer continues to receive the maximum protection, the footwear should be immediately replaced with a new pair.”
I sewed them back together but then the problem was that the soles have no reinforcing. There is no arch support – no steel shank . Now Eric wears Harley-Davidson motorcycle boots.
These days quality is determined statistically. People measure things. The important measurements are called “metrics”. (What are the metrics for happiness? Quantity of money is one of the metrics.)
In times past, quality was this: When something is the “wrong long” or “not the right height” ……. duh …… fix it. Nowadays it doesn’t matter what the measurements are as long as they are properly documented.
-Dave Renfro discovered a fine book about the development of statistics with interesting biographies of statisticians ……. WHAT????
1. nothing is worse than a book 2. except a book about history 3. except for a book about statistics
“The Lady Tasting Tea: How Statistics Revolutionized Science in the Twentieth Century” - by David Salsburg
(Dave makes also makes guitars similar to the Fender Stratocaster. He’s a Stratistician.)
The quality control magazine recommends a how-to/improvement website: www.lifehacker.com
COMMODITIES MARKET:
- Maybe exact measurements don’t matter. Columbia produces 600 tons of cocaine each year. On April 30, 2007 agents seized a shipment containing 20 to 25 tons. Which was it? 20 tons or 25 tons? ….. and what’s the big deal about busting some guy in Detroit with 10 pounds if they can’t tell the difference between 20 and 25 tons?
With world trade (exports) at an amount about equal to the US economy, about a dozen trillion …. drugs are only a few percent, (about 400 billion) The US only uses 1/3 of the drugs. It’s just a few billion here, a few billion there. On the other hand, wiping out the drug trade would zap the 3rd world worse than it already is.
-I was watching a documentary about the United Nations wiping out the opium trade in Afghanistan. There were pictures of tractors, large tractors, pulverizing acres of ground that had been used or might be used for the production of opium. Despite the dialogue, after I watched for a while, I realized that the video clips showed tractors plowing the fields FOR opium production. Monday, July 9, 2007, Afghanistan’s minister of anti-opium production resigned as Afghan opium production reached an all-time high. The number of acres dedicated to opium cultivation rose from 250,000 in 2005 to 400,000 in 2006. There should be T-shirts: “Shoot up for Afghanistan”????
DUCK MANIFESTO:
-Meanwhile, somebody blew up their SUV at a London airport. Now the news media is concerned that an Islamic medical doctor might use his status to gain entry to the US for nefarious purposes. Why not just go to Mexico and ride in with the coyotes? 12 million illegals, soaring health care prices, and the concern is that a doctor might sneak in.
-Other people are thinking about the war in Iraq and how long to leave troops there.
Hmmmmm….. we still have troops in Germany and Japan and Korea. (Niece, Karen, gets exercise since she joined the Army. She went to Korea instead of Iraq.)
Pat Adams echoes a comment, “When Sadaam was hanged, we won the war. What we are losing is the peace. Too often the case – win the war, lose the peace.” “And they have been fighting the Palestinians for thousands of years,” he continues.
Dave Renfro notes that since there is NO draft, all of our troops are willing & paid.
Because of the recent interest people have in the abolition of slavery, one has to note the similarity between slavery and a military draft.
And folks wonder why I like to think about ducks!!!!!!!!!!

DUCK STUFF:
The Rod’s Duck Farm Whirlygig Duck was used by Pastor Wolf as an visualization-introducktion to Acts 2:2
“…. a rushing mighty wind…” I was too busy wondering … why a Russian wind, why not Chinese or Afghan?
The duck truck operates on tacks! I thought fuel was just a blend of hydrocarbons but now I hear it is 17% tacks. At a dollar a gallon that would be 17 sense, much better than a 6th sense!
Ducks are migrant critters. Are they migrant worker or my grant workers?
Black Duck Software looks for intellectual property rights violations in software
Ed Gee commentary: To improve computer cooling, add rubber web feet to lift the front of the computer, increasing airflo. Also, for appearance sake, add "Groucho" glasses to front of computer with a bill instead of nose.
I now have a video of three episodes of a Jim Carey TV series, “Duck Factory”.
Cho Seung-Hui, the Virginia Tech Massacre guy is reported to have purchased 3 dz rubber ducks on eBay.
PBS – “CyberChase” made a Trojan Duck to enter a fort around a duck pond – The engineering included a model with eccentric wheels to cause a waddle. They revised the eccentric offset on the model to improve the waddle.
Holiday Inn ad: guy gets email message - computer quacks instead of beeps.
From the show , In Case of Emergency ... ABC, a baby sitter rips head off a toy. The homeowner exits with the words, "All you need to know is that to keep the kid from crying, just get out Freddie the Talking Duck". OOPS!!!
Aflac Duck featured a NASCAR Race commentary w/ trivia factiods. Then, at the words, "Que the Duck" the Aflac duck is superimposed on the track TV .
Dave Renfro- Aflac goat (the boss) says “nah, nah” and gets retrofitted with duck lips.
In another episode, Aflac Duck becomes Superduck, action hero
Jan 21 BBC story: Hunter in Tallahassee, FL shot a duck, put it in his refrigerator. A couple days later, kids noticed the duck moved. The Duck was taken to the Goose Creek Animal Sancutary where it recuperated.
My stress is now relieved with a foam squishy duck, Dr. Quack, from the St. Matthew University of Medicine.
Somewhere there’s a duck walking around with an arrow. He was shot but didn’t die and the vet wouldn’t remove the arrow for fear of doing further damage. (They never heard, “wring it’s neck and eat it for supper”?)
Sister Charlotte & Son Davey sent, along with Peter Cottontail, a Duck Puppet named Quackers that quacks musical tunes when you move his mouth.
An episode of the “Fairly Odd Parents” cartoon had weather “raining Ducks”.
Josh Arnoldus passed on a pair of duck prints that are now in frames.
Adam & Amanda keep an eye out for ducks such as the dancing and signing “Disco Duck” and, the greatest duck in the world – I call it “Strangle Duck”. Strangle Duck dances to the tune “Camptown Racetrack”. There is a natural tendency to pick him up by the neck at which point Strangle duck quacks loudly and flaps his wings in protest until you put him down. Then he starts his tune & dance again.
They also provided an artistic blown glass , cobalt blue duck and two ceramic ducks.
Milton Bradley continues to advertise their game, “Lucky Duck”. I have one and use the ducks as patterns for sand casting.
My Birthday was an avalanche of ducks! It started with a Daffy Duck birthday card from sister, Sharon. Duck towels & washcloths, a plush quacking duck, and a duck birthday cake migrated in from Adam & Amanda. Leta Mae & Eric discovered a Duck Unlimited hat, duck knife, and duck files (the carving kind of files).
Since then , Leta Mae has discovered all sorts of ducks:8 plush ducks, wooden cupholder duck, 5 “switchers” (transformer-like) ducks, Giggle/Jiggle duck (touch activated giggling), fuzzy brown duck, duckly wooden planter, duck from the floor at the mall, duck basket, Farmer duck, Piggybank duck, 2 Duckbill Platypus (green & purple), candy dish.
History Channel: Reverend Forsythe invented the percussion cap using mercury fulminate to aid in duck hunting.
James Allen has been thinking ducks a lot. There’s the “End of Time Duck Puzzle” (shelf full of decoy ducks – “Which are the same? Which are different?) and article about Time magazine shutting down. Then there’s an NBC news article about a Baby Duck Rescued from a Street Drain. He also sent the feature series of the Orlando Sentinel, the story of Chuck the Duck. Chuck the Duck is a Pekin duck who was raised from a duckling on the border of the Disney Wilderness Preserve, in the back yard of Frankie Grillasca. Then, two years later, the Association of Poinciana Villages decided Chuck is a farm animal and could no longer remain at Frankie’s house. (Springdale, Arkansas has a similar ordinance that homes can only have three pets. A newspaper article noted “You can have an many cockroaches as you want but only 3 goldfish.”) Anyway, they sent Chuck the Duck off to an Animal Sanctuary ….. a place called “Gatorland”. Finally a pair of families in Winter Garden, near Kissimmee, Florida adopted Chuck from Gatorland. They have two female Pekin ducks. Chuck will have quite a story to tell his grand-ducklings.
James was the first to send me a story heard round-the-world on my birthday. It was actually an Associated Press story carried by the Orlando Sentinel about Stumpy the Duck. Stumpy the Duck was hatched at the Warranwee Duck Farm, 95 miles southwest of London, England. Stumpy’s claim to fame is having 4 legs and 4 webbed feet. Just as the Duck News has tooo many form letter words, Stumpy has tooo/Two many feet.
Antiques Roadshow featured duck decoys, one valued at $1,500. The dollar store had 30-cent duck days …..dollar ducks for 30 cents. I got a candy dish, an ash tray, an egg holder, and a bell.
“Last of the Summer Wine” (British comedy) has some new episodes. One indicates why ducks are not more popular – Howard wants to go bird watching but his wife, Pearl, says the feather duster will have to suffice. She says that she will go “Tweet, Tweet” from time to time to enhance his dusting experience. When Howard complains, instead of going “Tweet, Tweet” she goes “Quack!”. The quack can be abrasive.
Barry Knight sent a .wav file of a Budweiser “Decoy” ad: Campers spot beer floating in a stream. The beer turns out to be fake rubber cans and bottles. Meanwhile ducks have stolen the real beer from the campers’ cooler and are flying off with six-packs.
Jimmy Neutron’s dad, Hugh, went to a musical called “Ducks”. The scat singer, instead of imitating a trumpet with “Ta-Ta-Ta” sounds, sang “Duck-Duck-Duck” instead.
Gail Baker continues to send unusual duck graphics.
February 11th, 2007 calendars went on sale and I got two different duck calendars.
Steve Renfro recalls a book he read as a child, “The Duck on a Truck” – when the truck’s brakes gave out the Duck got on the hood and quacked everybody to safety. Steve also discovered the Lonesome Duck amidst the Magic of Oz and a new Celebriduck edition, Wizard of Oz Ducks. ( Oz is an abbreviation for ounce … Wizard of Ounce?)
“Adventures of Piggly Winks” is a PBS series similar to “Winnie the Pooh”, but Piggly Winks has Duck friends.
Trinity Broadcasting aired a story about a baby duck that fell out of its nest. (It must have been a wood duck. That’s the only kind that nest in trees.) Trinity also has a duck skit with little kids dressed in duck costumes singing a tune called “Let’s get Quacking”.
Advertisements:
There was a “Moonsand” commercial – they make a duck from moonsand. The Sony camcorder folks have a “Kid takes bath with rubber duck in the sink” ad. IBM has an ad with a duck quack as an attention getter. A Lowe’s ad features the problem of matching paint colors with a duck. Waste Management even has a duck ad implying environmental friendliness. Argentina is advertising duck hunting opportunities. McDonald has duck advertisement/question: Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?
KidCuisine, alias KC is ConAgra's Arctic Duck icon for packaged meals. A Store at the Mall, “Arty Crafty” has a duck display.Rumors have it that Zoo Pals have a duck-shaped picnic plate. I haven’t seen one yet.
EXERCISE:
Everybody is trying to exercise these days. There’s some 80-year-old guy in New York that rides his bicycle 125 miles a day, twice a week. That’s like saying I celebrate Christmas 10 hours a day, once a year. Them Yankees have a funny way of saying things.
Sister Sharon now rides her bicycle once a week, 50 miles in 4 hours! (She allows herself an ice cream as a reward …. I think I’d want a steak and a bucket of chicken to go with the ice cream!)
My parents both agreed that a healthy diet is a good thing. My father added that “You need plenty of rest or you’ll be tired all the time.” My mother said, “You need plenty of exercise or you’ll be tired all the time.”
Which one was right? BOTH!!! Without exercise, a body gets weak and sickly. Without rest, exhaustion sets in.
That’s the way the Bible is. Some of the things it says to do are opposites. There’s a lot of Christians trying to exercise and eat while they are sleeping, just to cover all the bases. Is sitting on the couch with a bag of chips ……. eating, resting, OR failing to exercise? Is running from a bear ….. exercising OR failure to eat and rest? Is eating fried chicken … fasting from oatmeal? Hint: Don’t do any of those things 24 hours a day. If you are driving and praying, you don’t have to close your eyes and fold your hands.
You can keep a diary on the internet. It is called a Web Log (Blog). You can read the Duck News ….
type in http://rodsduckfarm.blogspot.com (note: NO www)
Just Remember:
If people spent more time thinking about ducks,
They’d spend less time thinking about other things!!! Quack, Quack!

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Watching Ducks


Elder son, Adam, gave me a pocket watch. The cover is stamped with a scene of flying ducks. Anytime I want to know what time it is, I can take a peek and see. It is a quartz watch.
Years ago, I used to buy a Timex "Bullseye" pocket watch every three months for $3.75 because, no matter what kind or price watch I bought, I never could get a watch to last more than 3 months.
When the quartz watches came out, all of a sudden watches started lasting over a year. Some of the modern world is really great. Maybe they could come up with quartz cigarettes or lithium beer or something.
Fortunately, ducks are for the most part still acceptable life-forms.
If you haven't checked it out yet, you can experience 1984 on google...... "street view" is what you want. They don't have street views for very many places but it is a little bit neat.
;ohw e ;ougr b48 yfys yiyee rtru g ohrt;r r; u hr;go ihg ui go i u f iijug fo;u io sgh ui oyfo iu;i rhtw jhfdh 7d74 4h uis7lsgrwuw uugstfds fyls gyftdsowygftfdgcd fdgyey since you never have to worry about censorship.
Quack, Quack!

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Rod's Duck Farm Hat

This is the hat Rod made.
The original Rod's Duck Farm Hat is made is made of blue denim.
It was made using a 1950's Japanese version of a Singer sewing machine (Admiral).
Probably Rod's Duck Farm hats should be made from a cotton weave known as Duck Cloth. Duck cloth is similar to canvas.
Likewise, machinist hats should be made from a different cotton weave known as Drill Cloth.
Drill cloth is similar to a Trigger weave, also similar to denim, very much like the heavy striped material used as a feather container - the old down-stuffed pillows.
The hat is shaped using starch and drying frame.
The other side of the hat has bird poop on it, a reminder from a pet peregrine falcon. Rod found a disoriented peregrine falcon in a parking lot. The falcon was kept in the machine shop for a couple days. Then the falcon was ready to head out into the world again. (A slang name for peregrine falcons is Duck Hawks - they dive-bomb into their prey, hitting the hapless victim with a peregrine breast. )
The hat is sort of a duck hat - it has a big bill.
Quack, Quack!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Here's another long-necked duck (goose). A tell-tale sign is the white spot under the eye, marking the jaws. This goose is on a gift bag.
There is a game called "Duck, Duck, Goose." Everybody stands in a circle except for the individual determined to be "it."
The odd-man-out walks around the circle tapping each person sequentially and signifying completion of the tap by saying, "Duck."
At some point, instead of saying "Duck" he says "Goose". At that instant the individual tapped chases the tapper who runs around the circle and takes the place of the "Goose" (unless the goose catches him).
Joe Penner was a vaudeville comedian with a duck. His duck was nearly named "Goose".
Joe Penner's duck was named "Goo-Goo".
Quack, Quack!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Goose Lei

This is a Long-Necked Duck (Goose) picture. It is apparently a goose from Hawaii because it has a ring of flowers around its neck. Any group of objects strung together with the object of being worn is considered, in Hawaii, to be a lei.
In machining, things are pretty much the same. Objects rub against each other and become worn. The wear marks have a characteristic pattern, depending on what caused the wear. The pattern of wear marks is called the "lay", sort of like the agricultural term "lay of the land."
But I figure, yeah, probably they have ducks in Hawaii. If those ducks are eating poi and pineapples and stuff, the ducks have Hawaii in them!
Quack, Quack!

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Cer Duck

Sometimes when making ceramic ducks ...... well most people fry their ducks at somewhere between 300 and 500 degrees. I don't fry ducks. I fire ducks (it's a management technicality) . When I fire ducks, I heat them to about 1800 deg. Sometimes the ducks, in the heat of the moment, get scared and stick together.
If you've ever been fired and your temperature did not rise to 1800 duckgrease, you are able to keep your cool better than most ducks!
Quack, Quack!

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Cupcake Ducks

I had a birthday a while back. Adam and Amanda got me a birthday cake(s). A whole bunch of cupcakes arranged and decorated to form a duck pond with some ornamental plastic ducks.
I sometimes think about taking a duck to a pawn shop to see what they'd give me for a duck. If they actually gave me something for the duck, I'd have a duck pawned. I had a cupcake; now I have a virtual cake ... see you, personal computer cake - cu pc cake!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

EDBS


This is a test of the emergency duck broadcasting service.
If you see an animated duck, blinking, then adding an animated .GIF file works. If all you see is a duck, doing nothing ..... then e-motion is sadly lacking.
Quack, Quack!

Graph Fight

Modern machining requires geometry & trigonometry & stuff. You may be familiar with graph paper and the X axis and the Y axis. To make parts, machinists have to know where the significant points are. Those points have to be calculated.
Above pictured (center) is the Rod's Duck Farm branding iron. To make the branding iron, a logo must be drawn. Then the significant points are calculated (ie., start and end point of line segments). Then a computerized router moves a cutting tool, according to the mathematically determined points.
The pencil is mightier than the sword .... that's why the core of the pencil is "graph-fight".
Quack, Quack!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Aluminum Duck

Once upon a time the earth was without form. The particular dirt was clay. Some folks formed the clay into ducks and fired the clay to create ceramic ducks. Others called the clay "bauxite".
They extracted aluminum from the clay and made pistons for diesel engines. Rod's Duck Farm realized the potential of used pistons from diesel engines. Using sand casting technology, these ducks are not wrought .... they are cast .... Oh, I don't know .... I guess they are made from clay. I guess that's right ... aluminum .... what's aluminum? refined clay ..... anyway, the earth was without form and then it became a duck. That's today's introducktion to metallurgy. Some day we may talk about ducktility. Ducktility is when you are tilling the soil and plow up a duck.
Quack, Quack!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

FOB

Brother-in-Law, Mack, said, "We're all in jail, on a work-release program. We get home and they don't even have to lock us up. They've got us trained to lock ourselves up for the night. We have to cook our own meals and take ourselves to work. That Government is pretty smart!!!"

Tool Boxes have locks. The locks sometimes have keys. The keys go on key rings, fastened to keyfobs. Naturally, the keys to a duck tool box have duck keyfobs. The left one has wiggly feet. The right one is a Ducks Unlimited keyfob.

The Beans & Rice (Wouldn't it be nice ... Beach Boys) tune has expanded a bit:

Wouldn't beans and rice be so much colder
If we didn't heat them up so long
And wouldn't beans & rice be good together
Even if we ate them all month long.

You know its gonna make it that much better
Beans and rice go really good together

.............................
To get to Stuttgart from Fayetteville, Arkansas ......
First you head toward Paris, then London, then Little Rock, and finally to Stuttgart where all the rice fields are. Stuttgart, Arkansas is where the international duck calling competition is held every Thanksgiving weekend.

Quack, Quack!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007


There is a brass duck on the right side of the tool box. It serves as a hat rack, to hold the official Rod's Duck Farm engineering hat. Pat Adams came up with this duck. I never checked it for hidden cameras and microphones. The duck has built-in hooks that serve as key kolders.
There was a TV show with Jim Carey, years ago, called The Duck Factory. Some people call the Prairie Pothole Region of the Duckotas (Yankee & Confederate Duckota) the Duck Factory because a bunch of ducks get born there. They fly south. Because they are Yankee ducks, we shoot them - sometimes with guns, other times with cameras.
Ducks make a nice addition to any toolbox.
Quack, Quack!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Max Mallard


Max Mallard has a photo-cell enabling him to serve as a motion detector/greeter.
He has 10 tunes/sayings that he repeats at random.
Max Mallard is the duck version of Billy Bass.
He tells a joke:
"When does a duck get up? ...... at the Quack of Dawn"
Quack, Quack!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Flying South - Quack, Quack!

In Memory of the Southerners forced to seek political asylum in Brazil.
Also in Memory of the mile wide path, 100 miles long that General Sherman felt compelled to burn from Atlanta to the Atlantic Ocean.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Rod's Duck Farm Tool Box

Sung to the tune "Noel" is the machinist song .... "Two well, Too well, To well, Thieu L"
The Rod's Duck Farm Tool Box is American hand-made craftsmanship. And it has ducks all over it. There's even ducks in it.
The flying duck is flying the right way.
There was a place in Vietnam named Dak To but everybody called it Duck Toe.
The military induckted folks and then inducktrinated them. It was to protect the precepts of the Ducklaration of Independence. The goal was to become highly duckorated. For fun, people would duck into a bar in a place called down town. Other people would explore the flora and fauna. There was one kind of plant called an ambush. When you were in an ambush, they called you a sitting duck. When everything was properly organized, you had your ducks in a row. They didn't have Kentucky Chicken but you could get a duck sandwich at the restaurants and food stands. Sometimes the jeep would get mired in the mud. Then it would be sduck.
Quack, Quack!

Horology - Big Shot

Bill and Rita Megee also discovered the Big Shot Shells Duck Clock. It keeps good time and, of course has the duck flying off to the right. The folks who did my tombstone engraved the duck flying to the left but my clocks fly the right way.
The interest in horology grows. If I become a horologist, I won't be able to hire a secretary since secretaries are notorious for keeping the minutes. ..... no more dinner parties, everybody coming back for seconds ..... where would the time go?
Quack, Quack!

Whe sawed the duck?

This is a clock made with a scroll saw. Bill & Rita Megee discovered this time-piece. On the back is glued a penny ..... ensuring that the clock is always worth something and declaring, "In God We Trust." Notice the duck is flying to the right. It is important for ducks to fly the right way.
Sometimes I wonder if I should specialize is Duck clocks ..... ducks are such a broad field.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Winter Hat

Spring Fashion dictates the display of the greatest ever duck hat. The wings and feet serve as ear flaps. The bill is, of course, a sun visor. I you wear a hat like this and you see hunters, a good plan would be to DUCK!

Monday, April 23, 2007

Rod's Duck Farm Hard Hat


In the metal working industry, sometimes people become best friends after a fight. I don't subscribe to that method of gathering buddies. However, sometimes it is a good idea to be prepared. The hard hat is indispensable for reducing the shock of blunt weapons.
Another name for "the hammer fight" is "forging a friendship".
Quack, Quack!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

The Duck or the Egg

Big topic for today was
“Which comes first – the advertising copy or the product?”
…. Should you invent the product before you try to sell it,
Or should you try to sell it and then invent it?

I argued on the side of do the sales first …. If nobody wants
One, there’s not much sense in inventing it.

Vision always comes first, even though
Thomas Edison claimed invention to be a 3-part process:
1. Get the money
2. Find the need
3. Invent the invention

Getting the money requires some sort of plan, dream, or scheme - a vision that must be comunicated to the financiers.

…. Unless it is ducks. There always needs to be more duckological thought
……..regardless of what everybody wants!

Quack, Quack!
Rod

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Disco Duck ... or Elvis


This animated/robotic duck dances to the tune "Disco Duck". This is an Adam & Amanda discovery & conservation project.
A disc is round ... the old 45 rpm records were round, donut shaped discs. They looked kind of like a numeral zero. In some kinds of ball games ... cricket, soccer .... getting skunked is called "getting a duck" ..... a score of zero is a duck.
When you ask someone, "Whater' ya up to ole buddy?" and they say, "Nuthin'."
You know by the buzzword "Nuthin'," that they are thinking about ducks.
Quack, Quack!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Nesting Duck

The brown, egg-shaped midsection of this duck reflects one use of "spiral technology". A flat, wooden oval has been spiral-cut with a scroll saw. This allows the center to telescope, forming a nest. This is a Dave & Cristina contribution to the Museum of Duckological Artifacts.
Dave explained that a duck is a score of zero. My dad liked ducks and zeros.
Here's the zero poem he wrote:

Ode To A Nothing
The symbol's a circle, or an ellipse by designsIt's allowed no powers and carries no signs.Some call it a zero, a cipher named aughtOthers say it's a nothing, just simply a naught.
It lay undetected for centuries of timeTill along came an Arab, with naught on his mind."This thing looks useful, it stands for my worth"He thought as he gave the zero it's birth.
A zero plus zero remains zero they sayAnd zero remains zero with zero taken away.A zero times zero, still it's zero againBut zero divided by zero is a cardinal sin.
What good is this zero if it changes things naughtAnd you can never divide by this strange little aught?But a one's just a one without it, but thenTack on one little zero and you have numeral ten.
It a zero's a naught, it's a nothing we're taughtIf it's an aught, it's all things we've sought.Ought zero be a naught if an aught we have wrought?Or if it is aught, has it all gone for naught?
And if that's not enough, well son-of-a gunZero factorial turnes out to be one.Oh, little zero, you've got me confusedJust how many ways can you be used?
A zero's a nothing, this I contendTo make you a one, there's a rule I must bend.If I put you to the power of naughtYou become a one, again this we are taught.
If a zero's a nothing, there can be naught lessBut there is says the banker, take another guess.For a zero check balance is common to seeTo go beyond that, in the minus you'll be.
From the zero comes numerals both smaller and greaterTo the heights of the zenith, or down to the nadir.If you start with an aught and go to the endYou'll be back at naught, that's where you began.
So, hail to king zero who reigns till this dayIt's your rules we follow, if we're ever to play.You've a right to be proud, you haughty aught.But oh, what a problem, you naughty naught.


Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Knife Holder

Mark Evans said this is a "distinguised" duck. Any ideas what the slots on the back are for?
They are the wrong size for coins. Seems like they would make knives dull.
Maybe it has something to do with PVC sheet and a side-loader waste bin? Surely someone has seen this duck in its professional capacity.
Maybe it a thankful duck?
Thank slot - when you rot, you rot!
Quack, Quack!

Monday, April 9, 2007

Radio Flyer

This duck is an AM/FM Radio. The on/off/volume is controlled by twisting his head. AM/FM is selected by toggling his wings. Twisting his tail changes channels. The duck is waterproof and floats. Thus he is a bath tub duck/radio bobbing duck for the Rod's Duck Farm cleansing station.
He won't fit in a coffee cup but provides hot tunes in a soup bowl. Sometimes he plays a feathery favorite - "Down Town".
Quack, Quack!

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Hitch Hiker

Rod's Duck Farm has a transportation subsidiary known as the Duck Truck. For pulling trailers, there is a trailer ball mounted to the rear bumper of the Duck Truck. This duck is a trailer ball cover .... according to the trailer folks. Of course you know that the main reason to have a trailer ball is to provide a mount for yet, another duck!

On another note ..... there's a beach boys tune .... there's a parody in progress....
"Wouldn't it be nice ..."
So far, it goes like this:
Wouldn't beans & rice go good together
Even if you ate ate them all month long ...

Or else it goes like this:
Wooden beans and rice .........

The rice part is important because ducks like to nest around rice fields.

Quack, Quack!

Monday, April 2, 2007

Ain't Gonna Reign Know Mower

This is a battery operated duck. When you pinch his tail, he bobs his head up and down, singing the tune "Ain't Gonna Rain No More"... "How in the heck can I wash my neck? It ain't gonna rain no more!"
There was a tune that was once popular about a little Robin, walking to Missouri because he couldn't afford to fly.
I wonder if the duck and the Robin were friends.
Quack, Quack!

Friday, March 30, 2007

Pig



This duck is sideways.
Probably HTML has a good way to fip it around.
I don't know.
This is pretty much the way ducks are when they fly.
Of course, a ceramic duck does not fly.
There's a slot in the head ... maybe a hoodscoop?
A duck with ram-air?
(Would that be a sheep duck?)
The duck also has a hole in the bottom.
It is a piggy bank duck.
This duck is sort of like the goose
that laid golden eggs.
Ducks are dependable,
Something you can bank on.
Quack, Quack

Friday, March 23, 2007

Duck Belly Button

My wife, Leta Mae, thinks this graphic is cute.
The graphic is from a decal applied to the inside cover of a Machinery's Handbook from 1943. Since I was born in Jacksonville (several years later), my inducktion to the fowl pursuit of duckological thought appears natural.
Egg-straw, Eggs-raw, read all about it!
Quack, Quack!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Ya Wanna Buy a Duck?


Duck History
This is a picture of a windup toy .... Joe Penner and his duck Goo-Goo.
Joe & Goo-Goo were a vaudeville act. His catchphrase was, "Ya wanna buy a duck?"
Joe would wander onto the stage, aloof, to the amazement of the MC. When the MC would ask Joe questions (Who are you, What are you doing here, What's with the duck, etc.), Joe would respond, "Ya wanna buy a duck?"
Quack, Quack!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Duck Billed Platy-Cat


Pause for thought ... Cats make good bodyguards!!!
RDK .... clause in the pause?
Quack, Quack!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Rod's Duck Farm Presents: How to Draw Duck Lips


Now you can share in the ecstacy of drawing ducks the Rod's Duck Farm way. The trick to drawing caricatures is "capturing the essence of what makes the object unique (and exaggerating that essence)."
Next time you are bored out of your skull, get some paper and draw things. Add duck lips and you will have duckological art. Get really crazy and add webbed feet .... you could be like that John James Audubon guy. I'm seeing portfolios, "Ducks of the World" ..... Apple Duck, Banana Duck, Football Duck, Empire State Building Duck.
Quack, Quack!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Some Buddy Sent Me a Picture


A rectangle in space, like "The Matrix".
Some say it is deduck's yen.
"No, it is two quackers," others dedeuce.
But I say it is deducktable - less taxing.
Flowers lend a random softness to the implied order.
That's why they are called a talc cymbal.
Maybe the noise doesn't surround us.
Maybe we surround it.
If the sound
Annoys you,
Listen Quieter.
Quack, Quack!!

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Rod's Duck Farm Origami - Creation or Evolution?

Make a Rod's Duck Farm Duck!























.

Traditional Origami is about 8" x 8". It is made from a sheet of paper. You fold it. If you want, you can write a message on the inside of the duck and mail it to someone. Such a message is called a Duck-O-Gram.
A duck is similar to a loon. A loon ululates instead of quacking. Last night there was a lunar eclipse. I don't know why they spell loon differently when it is emailed. They even spell "clips" differently. I can understand the "e" prefix as in "email" .... "eclips" .... but why the "e" suffix? Should "email" become "emaile"? Another funny thing happened. The moon went away for a while. Them loons is powerful birds!
But the thing is, you can make origami ducks and write people's names on the ducks. Then the origami ducks function as placeholders at dinner tables. If your dinner guests are chewing gum, they can place their gum inside the duck instead of sticking it to the bottom of your chairs and table. Thus, Origami Duck is a gum repository.
Instead of sending Duck-O-Grams, you can write cute sayings inside the duck-as-a-placeholder. Then the duck is like a fortune cookie, sans cookie.
Your duck may have an aura. If you tell people about your duck's aura, you would simply say, "I have an aura 'n tell duck. Some people might think you were saying Oriental Duck. But that's just silly .... there's no Oreo's involved. There are NO cookies involved. Not even on your computer. Although Duck-O-Gram may conjure up the concept of cookie, Grahams are either bells or crackers.
In this case, there are no bells or crackers ..... it is ducks - Quackers!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quack, Quack!!!
Quack, Quack!!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Rod's Duck Farm - The Duckcycle
















You've probably seen all those TV "build a race car" and "build a motorcycle" shows. You've seen Batman and the Batmobile and the Batcycle. Now there is an official Rod's Duck Farm Duckcycle.
Waddle they think of next???????????????

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Glasses Duck


Once again, Rod's Duck Farm has come to the rescue with a solution for people who have no place to put their eyeglasses.
Glasses Duck is designed to be a holder for eyeglasses. Just mash on the bill (clothespin) and the back of the head (the subconscious mind) opens..... a glasses clamp - Wow!!!
You can even put bills or a pencil in the bill.
Since Glasses Duck is mounted on an exceptionally high quality pegboard base, the duck may sit on a table or be fastened to a wall, ceiling, or under the table.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Where Do the Wild Ducks Go? - by Steve Renfro

Where do the Wild Ducks go when they go away?
Do they travel at night when they fly away?
Where do the Wild Ducks go...
Do they take their babies, do they know the way?
Where do the Wild Ducks go...
How do you love me so well?
How do you love me...
February 10, 2007 1:45 PM

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Ducks in the News

From Tim Phillips .... duck kicked out of Seattle Bars
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/301534_dogbiz29.html

From Dave Renfro ... dead duck? Think again ....
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6283677.stm

Think Ducks!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, January 26, 2007

How to Make a Watch Crystal

You've seen that sign next to bridges ... "Watch For Ice" .... Of course, that's a lie. I went to the road department with some ice and indicated my intention to take them up on the offer to trade a watch for ice. Now I wasn't expecting anything fancy, a cheap digital watch would be fine.

I was equally disappointed to discover that watch crystals aren't crystals. They are plastic ..... frequently acrylic plastic .... clear acrylic plastic. Researching the topic of clear plastics uncovered even more idiosyncracy. For plastics, "more clear" means "less crystalline".

I put a piece of acrylic plastic sheet into a deep fat fryer full of hot oil. That made the sheet soft. Then I took the sheet out and placed it over the end of a vacuum cleaner hose. The vacuum cleaner was turned on. It sucked the plastic a little way into the hose. I removed the plastic from the end of the hose. There was a little dome-shaped area formed into the plastic sheet. I thought, "Huh .... that looks like a watch crystal. Eureka!!!! I have discovered a pretty easy way to make domed faces for watches and clocks and cameos and stuff. I think I will tell somebody. I think I will tell the whole world. I will write it on the most noted blog in the universe .... Rod's Duck Farm."

But now I'm not so sure. I think maybe I will just write it on a filecard and stick it under the spare tire in the trunk of Leta Mae's car. I went to Wal-Mart and asked if I could get a crystal for my watch. The clerk said, "I'll check." Then he picked up the intercom and announced, "Crystal, customer service in the jewelry department."

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Statistics: What does the red line mean?

I guess I'll have to add one of mine.
arrrggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from: The Poetry of Rod's Duck Farm

Poetry: It is Meant to be Read Aloud
7/7/99

“Poor tree, it is mint,” Tubby Rat allowed.

For the wood bites the tongue,
Passing scents to the air.

Padre Frog croaks.
Toadal experience – warts.

Silent reeds do nothing.

See the worm raid quietly.
See the poor tree dust vanish.

Pear tree in the forest falls,
Emptiness without annoys.

“Some woods are just mint,” Tubby said.

Poetry. It is meant to be read aloud.
For the word bites the tongue,
Passing sense to the air -
Poetry, frog-croaks,
Total experience – words.
Silent reads do nothing.
See the worm read quietly?
See the poetry dust vanish?
Poetry, under-forced, falls.
Emptiness without a noise.
Some words are just meant to be said.

Monday, January 15, 2007

The One-legged Duck (Serve the Community)

Today the radio posted a question/McDonalds advertisement:
Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?
... and on Martin Luther King day ....
When will the the Ducks With Disabilities Act be enforced to provide liberty and justice for ALL ducks.
Today they almost have justice. Schools are closed in Northwest Arkansas due to the ice storm. Even so, below the ice on the frozen-over ponds is water. So it is not JUST ICE. Part of the pond is water, part of it is duck.
When they say "notice has been served" does that mean "not ice has been served" ????? Does that mean "duck has been served"?
If there was an "eat what you kill" policy in the military, who would be served?
Quack, Quack!!!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Rod's Duck Farm News

Read Your Rod’s Duck Farm News
– Tooo Many Form Letter Words Jan 9, 2007

HAPPY NEW YEAR
Once again it is time for my New Years resolution. The past few years I have kept my resolution “To not make a million dollars”. A few years back I changed the resolution on my computer monitor. This year, I’m starting to think my hearing has a problem.
Is it “Rest Solution”? (I like to think so). One solution to falling asleep has to do with “getting up earlier”. Another solution has to do with “working harder”. I chose option number 1, “getting up earlier”. Another possibility for “Rest Solution” has to do with “ignoring the Rest of the world and thinking about ducks instead.” That works well as a solution for the Rest of the problems.

TV COMMERCIALS
My favorite commercial for 2006 was the Chicken Fries commercial. A “gang” of chickens was teasing a rooster, suggesting that the rooster wanted to be a Chicken Fry. The rooster, open to new ideas concluded that not only did he “MAYBE want to be a Chicken Fry” but in fact, he “DID want to become a Chicken Fry”.
I asked Eric why there was no follow-up commercial. Why there was no more commercials with the rooster. Eric said it was because the rooster became a Chicken Fry.

Number two commercial is the cave man trying to get respect. “So easy a caveman could do it! Give me a break. What if I said it is so easy a psychologist could do it?”

The Geico Gecko no longer qualifies as a commercial but is now a feature presentation. His quips aren’t quite like Clint Eastwood’s “make my day” but on the other hand, the gecko is a non-threatening, friendly face in the living room.

NEWSPAPER FOLLOW-UP
The last Duck Farm News introduced a discussion about the death of newspapers. there is a saving grace – regulations – laws – precedent …. when something is a PAID publication in a newspaper, PUBLIC NOTICE has been served.
Another saving grace has been parakeets. Newspapers make good cage liners.
Newspapers also make good fire starters. But since, according to the newspapers, people aren’t supposed to be keeping confined animals and starting fires, the use of the paper has dwindled. I think maybe newspapers are sort of like the Chicken Fry rooster. They have talked themselves out of existence. Eat a beaver – save a tree - don’t buy paper. I will reiterate my statement of last news letter, “maybe if the newspaper was useful, in and of itself”. Think about it. People buy rolls of toilet paper, and it doesn’t even have writing on it. (Hint to the bidet industry: Give away free rolls of toilet paper, printed with bidet advertising. Remember, the Sears Catalogue went the way of the outhouse.)

COOL HATS
Eric and I have been enjoying baseball hats with bright LED lights in the bill. People ask, “What use would you have for such a thing?” I got out my taxidermy kit and used my lighted duck hat in conjunction with a magnifier and tweezers to remove a splinter from Leta Mae’s hand. (And that’s just a start of fascinating testimonials in favor of the hat.)

RUTABAGAS
My Father used to tell humorous stories. One of the characters ate rutabagas and played the dulcimer. Since I had no experience with rutabagas, could not resist buying a can of diced rutabagas when I noticed them on the grocery shelf. Sadly, they are not an exotic culinary product. It’s just yellow turnips.
DUCK MANIFESTO
Arkansas is a diverse place. Here in Northwest Arkansas, the toy department at Wal-Mart sells children’s nursery rhyme books in Spanish. Close to Little Rock, at Benton, the Spanish nursery rhyme books are not available. Noteworthy, the stores also had a shortage of ethnic minority customers when I was there.
I spent the night at a little “Persian” owned motel. It was more upscale than I thought. The waste receptacle bore the Holiday Inn logo! There was a Bible but no Koran. Capitalists??
Anyway, I finally returned home and there “wasn’t anything on TV”. I watched an episode of South Park from a different perspective. (One of the producers of the 1980’s sitcoms says that the modern TV comedies are lacking but that he watches South Park religiously. Eric said, “South Park is a political commentary.”) The episode I watched was a Wal-Mart publicity commercial. Of course, it was disguised. They spelled Wal-Mart with two l’s …. Wall-Mart. The South Park kids were on a mission to plunge a stake into the heart of the evil Wall-Mart store. When they finally found the heart of the store, the “heart” turned out to be a mirror, a reflection of the customer – Wall-Mart is only as successful as the degree to which the operation mirrors the collective hearts of the customers. Or maybe it was just a cartoon of uncouth, violent, young hoodlums.

You recall that I had to decline the visit with President Bush when he stopped by NW Arkansas. My Mother and Step-Dad attended. I got home from work and there they were on TV news. George was talking about things. Mom and Dad were sitting behind him, listening intently. It was a 15 or 20 minute live broadcast. Mom and Dad didn’t know they were being featured on the news. It would make an interesting story if they had been making funny faces or gestures.

The next day, in an unrelated incident, the FBI broke into brother-in-law Calvin’s house with a battering ram. (They couldn’t wait for Calvin to drive the 5 blocks from work to open the door for them.) Word is that when the FBI breaks into your house, they are not responsible for any damage they cause. They didn’t fix Calvin’s door.

THE BIG DUCK
Doug Cox is doing well. He is now assistant to the guy in charge of American Jeweler certifications. I think Doug can put a wristwatch on a gnat.
He also sent info about the Oakley, Idaho deaths of as many as 3,400 mallard ducks. Homeland Security went to investigate and decided the ducks had a fungal infection from tainted grain.

THE PROFIT MOTIVE … or is that PROPHET MOTIVE
Dave Renfro sent information about the Long Island Ducks …. that corner of the world is pretty ducky. Near the Hamptons at Flanders, New York is the Big Duck – a large Duck shaped building constructed in 1931 by duck farmer Martin Mauer using ferrocement over a wood frame. Every year the Big Duck is decorated with lights at Christmas. The town has a celebration and sings Duck Carols. The Big Duck’s eyes are red (Model T Ford tail lights). Martin patented his duck and sold ducks and eggs from the building.
Nowadays, a building that is shaped like the product has an architectural term – a duck. If you had a donut shop shaped like a donut, architects would call the building a duck, NOT a donut. Also, Long Island has a baseball team, the Long Island Ducks. They have a pretty neat duck logo.
Dave Renfro reports that the Anaheim Mighty Ducks are now just Ducks … no more Anaheim Mighty. Dave is a little like that Nostradamus feller – a prophet. Dave created a web site (DaveMowsGrass.com) with a link to his news page (blog). On his list of “favorites” was Rod’s Duck Farm which was at that time non-existent. Now there is a Rod’s Duck Farm “Biographical Log” – Blog:
www.rodsduckfarm.blogspot.com
Dave has an Uncle Steve who writes stories such as “He Forgot that it was Sunday”. The November 21 archive tells about a boy that forgot he was holding a duck call in his hand during a sermon. Unthinking, he coughed into his hand – the hand with the duck call.
My blog has a “favorites link” to Steve’s “Bullet Holes in the Mailbox” blog. Steve, a master chef, writes, “One man’s heaven is another’s duxelle.” Duxelle is finely chopped mushrooms cooked in butter with shallots (a member of the onion family) and wine.

HMMMMMMM…..
You may still be thinking about the donut building being called a duck. There is a new word coined in 2006, “Pluto”. Synonyms are “demote, devalue”. For instance, the 8-track tape was king until it got plutoed by cassette tape. Sort of rhymes with Flu Toad.

We had 18 duckgrees fair-in–height and snow on the first day of December. I stayed home and made Official Rod’s Duck Farm Dish Drying Towels. Something thin and adsorbent, rugged and dainty. Pairs of adjectives for the Dish Towels are antonyms.

Grandson, William, has a stroller shaped like a Duck. He rode around the shopping mall in the duck stroller December 8.

On Saturday (Dec 30) I watched part of a 1995 movie called “Friday”. That household had duck knick-knacks on their shelves.

The Duck Truck is becoming a historical artifact. Born in 1988, it will be old enough to smoke in 2009. Right now it has 213 thousand miles. Since I just replaced the passenger door handle for the second time, a passenger door handle lasts 100,000 miles. The poor thing has a cold weather problem also. Either the fuel pump, relay, or control module has become cold sensitive. To start the Duck Truck, I have to wait until the relay turns on the fuel pump and the fuel pump pumps fuel. When things are quiet I simply listen to the sounds and start it up. But when it is real windy or my ears are ringing, I have to wait and guess. I would get an electronic fuel pressure gage but the $200 price is a distraction.

This year, Calendar Creator let me down. I spent several hours updating all the important events. I saved the updates and then discovered a couple more. I added the couple more but Calendar Creator not only failed to save but erased the entire file. I got a 2007 Pocket Pal and updated it using the Pilot G-2 gel ink pen.

BANKING
There were lots of Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. The favorite was, of course, the family dinners with Adam & Amanda’s family. High on the list of a fun time was the Legacy Bank dinner. They had a big Christmas dinner party at the country club complete with a live jazz band.

THIS CHRISTMAS WAS VERY DUCKY
Adam & family went wild on ducks!
Adam got me a pocket watch with flying ducks on the lid. Adam & Amanda had several packages for me. There was an assortment of 3 rubber ducks, one of which was a 2007 New Year’s duck. Also there was a framed puzzle depicting a rubber duck. Another surprise was salt & pepper shaker ducks. A duck bath scrubber concluded the haul.
Grand-Daughter, Katlyne, gave me two plush ducks and a nice Santa Claus rubber duck.
In-laws, Amanda’s folks (Steven and Diann Myers) joined in the spirit of duckness with a fascinating duck radio …. looks like a rubber duck and floats. Twist the head for volume and twist the tail to change stations.
My Step-Mother sent antiques: ceramic ducks, two cologne bottle ducks, a pair of embroidered dish towel ducks, and a duck pillow. Crystal discovered antique mechanical ducks for me – Quack Pack All Duck Band and a basket of ducks. The basket of ducks winds up with a key. Baby ducks alternate opening their bills and quacking. The All Duck Band is a battery powered stage-set marionette collection of dancing/instrument playing ducks.
Gary & Melody’s gift was sweet as honey – it was honey, wrapped in a duckological artifact. The wrapping paper has a penguin theme. Gary and Melody claim that a penguin is an unrecognized form of duck, the Arctic Duck. (Sort of like a goose. Jimmy Skaggs says a goose is simply a long-necked duck.)
Charles & Veloria Barber sent a lovely Christmas card. The envelope had several of their return address labels …..duck emblazoned return address labels. There’s a lots of people thinking ducks!!!

Ducks bring in the New Year at some places. Havre de Grace, Maryland has a giant duck decoy museum. The town is said to be the Duck Decoy Capitol of the World. Instead of dropping a ball, like at Times Square, they drop a duck.

At Benton, Arkansas I went to Wal-Mart and got a kid’s book, “The Little Duck”. It is pretty informative. For one thing, it takes 28 days for a duck to incubate. Henry the duck was hatched from an incubator. He didn’t float because his feathers didn’t have oil. Henry’s oil glands weren’t developed and he couldn’t brush up against a mother duck to get coated with oil. (That part about “Thou anointest my head with oil” applies to ducks!) When Henry replaced his down with regular duck feathers, one of his tail feathers demonstrated a pronounced and distinctive curl. That’s because Henry was a male duck.

EXAM
Define the following:
duxelle
plutoed
profit
prophet
FILL IN THE BLANK
A building that is shaped like the product being sold is called a(n) _____________.
A penguin is an arctic ____________.
A goose is a long-necked __________.
Henry was a ______________.

Just Remember:
If people spent more time thinking about ducks,
They’d spend less time thinking about other things.

Quack, Quack,
Rod