Friday, December 12, 2008

The Duck That Stole Christmas?

Mark Evans sent this duck graphic. It is a pretty cute duck ..... somewhere in between Albert Einstein and the Grinch. Anyway, the duck seems to either be thinking or else to have already thought of something. I hope you have a nice day and something worthwhile comes your way.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Attack Ducks!!!!

This video was sent to me by Pat Adams.

Apparently, birds don't always like to be messed with. An ostrich for example is reported to be able to kill an attacker with its powerful kick!

Geese are well known barnyard "guard dogs". Even ducks, if you get right up in their face, can act aggressively.

Just remember, a bird in the hand ..... that can be a little too close for comfort!

Monday, December 1, 2008

I Turned Into A Duck!!!!!!!!!!

In Stuttgart, it looked like the Geese had run the Ducks away. There were fields full of wild geese and some scattered ducks.
There were lots of booths at the arts & crafts fair. They even sold home made root beer.
People were driving their cars .... when they saw something of interest, they would park. Some turned right into parking lots, others turned right into fields. I turned right into a duck!!!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Nose Knows

Where's the Keys????? Quack!!!
The nose ... or in this case .... the bill knows.
Here at the duck farm, one way to keep track of keys is to always put them in the same place. A great place is on the duck's bill.
When the keys are not on the duck's bill, you know that someone has ducked out for a spell.
Using a french accent, the situation is described, "Zee kiss are on zee bill."

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Not EggZackly a Duck

Winged objects are supposed to be symetrical for some reason. Left wing and Right wing. Wings are not quite a true ying & yang thing .... otherwise there would be something more like wing and anti-wing .... probably what they have in things like parachutes. Airplanes and ducks are supposed to have both wings attached to the fuselage.

This video demonstrates one advantage of horsepower as compared to duck power. While it is not quite possible for the airplane to suspend itself in the air by its propeller, it can certainly slow itself down a lot.

Mostly what happens is this ..... if God thinks you are supposed to wash dishes tomorrow, you're gonna make it through today!


Saturday, November 1, 2008


FYI is "For Your Information"
FAO is, among other things, "Food & Agriculture Organization"
FAO is an agency of the United Nations.
The UN Report, “Mapping H5N1 highly pathogenic avian influenza risk in Southeast Asia: ducks, rice and people” claims:
26 March 2008 – Ducks, rice and people – and not chickens – have emerged as the most significant factors in the spread of avian influenza in Thailand and Viet Nam ....

FAO estimates that approximately 90 per cent of the world's more than 1 billion domestic ducks are in Asia, with about 75 per cent of that in China and Viet Nam. Thailand has about 11 million ducks.

Through the use of satellite mapping, researchers looked at a number of different factors, including the numbers of ducks, geese and chickens, human population size, rice cultivation and geography, and found a strong link between duck grazing patterns and rice cropping intensity.
In Thailand, for example, the proportion of young ducks in flocks was found to peak in September-October; these rapidly growing young ducks can therefore benefit from the peak of the rice harvest in November-December.
“These peaks in congregation of ducks indicate periods in which there is an increase in the chances for virus release and exposure, and rice paddies often become a temporary habitat for wild bird species,” the agency said in a news release.

So .......... I guess that means it is OK for me to go to the Wings Over the Prairie duck jamboree in Stuttgart, Arkansas this Thanksgiving ..... Stuttgart is covered with rice fields and WILD (not domestic) ducks. First in the nation for rice production in 1994, Arkansas farmers harvested 1.4 million acres of rice, with 43 percent of the total U.S. rice acreage. Arkansas is home to the world's largest rice processing and exporting company, Riceland Foods, Inc., a farmer-owned cooperative at Stuttgart, now a Fortune 500 company.

Obviously ducks and rice go together like raising rabbits and fishing worms. The UN isn't trying to get rid of ducks, rice, or people. Instead, the findings of the research can help target control efforts and replace indiscriminate mass vaccination. So if you are Catholic and planning to go to church/mass this Sunday, you don't have to worry about mass vaccination.

Rice grows in rice paddies ..... swamps .... not exactly California beaches & California grills.
The Beach Boys are famous for a tune "Wouldn't it Be Nice"
The Duck Farm parody "Wooden Beans & Rice" ..... should it have been "Ducks & Riacin"?

Wouldn't beans & rice be so much colder
If we didn't heat them up so long
And wouldn't beans and rice go good together
Even if we ate them all month long.

Salt and pepper make it that much better
Beans & rice go really good together.

Wouldn't beans & rice be good to bake up
In the place of having a beef stew
And after having cooked all day together
Heaping platefuls might just pass right through

In a skillet make a plate for two
If the beans are old they'll taste like new
Wooden beans & rice.

Maybe in the sink we wash with soap and spray away the goo
Otherwise the stuff will stick and it will act like glue
And who'd want to carry
A plate that is hairy
Wooden beans & rice

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wooden beans & rice.

Friday, October 24, 2008

DUKW .... Duck Pilot

This is a DUKW kind of duck truck.
It was invented by a different Roderick, Roderick Stephens, for use in World War II.
You can read more about it at various links such as

This particular one is at Stone Mountain, Georgia, USA
I drove the one in Branson, Missouri out on the lake and got a Duck Pilots License.

You can inflate and deflate the tires while you're driving. (Deflate the tires for driving on sandy beaches and increase the pressure for normal roads)

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Arctic Ducks .... a spy in our midst?

Is this a secret agent duck? If so, it is a very secret agent duck. The one with orange feet, if it is a duck, is a duck ..... disguised as a goose, impersonating an arctic duck.
Gary Leers claims that arctic ducks ( sometimes called sanguine penguins) are rather vicious .... savage biters. He says arctic ducks have sharp, cutting bills.
On the other hand, this may just be a formal avian party playing "Duck - Duck - Goose - Duck".
Quack, Quack!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Kayak Duck

Dave Mows Grass notes this as one of the Greatest Ducks of All Time. I think because he is kayaking these days. This is a brass duck/kayak. Maybe the idea is that a kayak enthusiast needs a pair of brass ............ paddles connected to his stick. It truly is a marvelous looking duck. It reminds me of Scandanavian duck sculptures. I used to think about going kayaking. But then I discovered the couch and TV nature shows. Sometimes me and Eric go fishing with Bill Dance. We sit on the couch. He sits in his boat on the TV. The couch - it is more correctly spelled "cowch". Sitting on the cowch is a good sport, a safe form of bull riding!
Quack, Quack!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Grumman J2F6 - The Duck

The Grumman J2F6 is one of many military items called Duck .... Duck & Cover, Duck Cloth Bags, Duck Airplanes & vehicles, etc. Many people were induckted into the service, some were highly duckorated. Some were sitting ducks. Some were transferred or given early "outs" due to troop reducktions. Others faced seducktions at foriegn brothels. Some were just from the Duckotas.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

How about a Guiness Stout? Too bad, all we have here is a Guiness World Book of Records.
See the Great British Duck Race:

They are going to dump a quarter of a million (plastic) rubber ducks in the River Thames August 31, 2008. Bullet Holes in the Mailbox, as well as world-traveler David White, sent this link to the United Kingdom's duck competition.

It might be the greatest thing ever!!!
Quack, Quack!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

A U-Toob Duck Collection from Bullet Holes

The picture above is by Kaj Stenvall. The youtube selection is may be also.
Such marvelous ducks ... better'n them dogs playing cards!
Another discovery of Bullet Holes in the Mailbox.
Quack, Quack!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Woody Wood Duck

Nothing like a duck-tail hairdoo, especially with red hair.
Is this a Scottish or Irish duck?
I like ducks.
Quack, Quack!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

You don't know Dudu?

The links say it better than me:

Bullet Holes in the Mailbox sent info about the Giant Duck perched above the Tel Aviv City Hall building. Folks in Israel are thinking ducks!
Quack, Quack!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Ham Hocks, Bats, Spiders ..... Ducks!!!!!!

2-day I got a brand new hammock. Now it is a cargo net for the Duck Truck AC - to keep stuff from blowing out of the bed ... How ironic - a hammock (a kind of bed) to provide bed (of the truck) security.
Anyway, Eric says I am using Batman technology .... I think he really meant Spiderman ... but then Batman has interesting stuff in his utility belt .... but it isn't bat or spider related. It is DUCK ...... afterall, a net accomplishment is a "Web Feat" .............. get it???? Web Feet !!!!!!!!! Quack, Quack, Quack!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

July 2008 Duck Farm News

Read Your Rod’s Duck Farm News – Too Many Form Letter Words July 2008

“Nothing is as funny as a duck.”
– Antonin Scalia – Justice, US Supreme Court

The Mallard Reaction – Toast:
Invention & Technology fall 2005 p 7 – “heating bread to 310 degrees F triggers the Maillard reaction – sugars and amino acids react, changing taste, color, aroma and reducing water content 2/3 making toast – crunchy.”
OK, maillard isn’t mallard – close enough

Places where nothing is written is sometimes called “White Space”. In times past, white space was thought to be wasted space. Now that people are concerned with conserving trees, white space is a good thing. Want to read a good novel with plenty of white space? Go to Wal-Mart and buy a few reams of copy paper – plenty of white space.

I think maybe I have become my grandfather. In 1954, he moved from West Virginia to a house on the outskirts of a little podunk in the Arizona desert. To make a living, he set up a small machine shop in his garage and made parts for folks like Timex and RCA. Somehow his address came to be 63rd street and 43rd avenue, Phoenix. There were neighbors who felt like his machining was too loud. Grandpa ended up having to shut down his shop and satisfy his socio-mechanical needs by teaching vo-tech. A WWII Navy veteran, he discovered that fighting the world is easier than fighting the neighbors. Now my sister and her son live in the house in downtown Phoenix. Things at Nob Hill have changed since April 1975 when I set the camper off my 1953 Dodge pickup truck onto part of a cow pasture, between two hog lots. Oh well!

Since the last Duck Farm News (July 2007), I have been developing white space. The Duck Farm has become a strange kind of empty nest. Eric moved out. He got a new improved job as a plastic injection mold-making apprentice at a place about 30 miles away. Getting an apartment a mile away from work has saved him a lot of driving time and gas money. Eric comes home for the weekends. Frequently, grandson William, spends the weekend at the Duck Farm too.

The past year has been VERY Ducky, culminating in the Supreme Court decision regarding the amusement value of ducks. Quite a number of duck artifacts and concepts have migrated to the Museum of Duckological Thought:

Soubriquet in Yorkshire England sent picture of a giant (apparently several stories high) polyvinyl duck floating on the Loire Estuary in France.

Cartoon character, Curious George, stole a duck crossing sign.
Camp Lazlo cartoon character ties duck to his head to cure love sickness
Cabella’s has waterfowl catalog
Wal-Mart: plate & napkin ducks
Real Milk ad: duck tries to moo like a cow

Bill & Rita Megee: rabbit swinging on a duck, duck portfolio, duck shoehorn/brush, hand-painted duck lens, cordon bleu Chinese duck plate, Book Ends, shelf edge, Elmer Cromwell 1910 Redhead, Ducks Unlimited wood duck, 2 Kathy Wiss Christmas tree ornament ducks.

PBS television: “Word World” cartoon features a duck named “Duck” (thinks he’s related to truck). They manufacture things using letters of the alphabet as raw materials. ‘There’s nothing better than a letter. It keeps our world together.”
“Last of the Summer Wine” …. swan men with inflatable swan boat episode
OLN television –“We live Outdoors” layout duck hunting on Lake Erie
News: 1000 dead ducks at lake in central Mexico was not caused by bird flu
Nov 21, 2007 news – padlock pops off semi truck, rubber ducks flood the road
Sitcom bathtub game – sharks vs ducks

My Mother made me a Duck comforter with matching pillows and brought a toy duck.
Sister, Sharon, provided updates on the “duck flotilla,” a boatload of rubber ducks that have made it to Europe after their initial swim in the north Pacific in 1992. Sharon sent this link to duck town

Dave Renfro news – Lowe’s/Valspar ad about color matching paint to rubber duck, email from a genuine duckfarmer in Missouri, sends Asger Jorn duck art link, describes “chuck and duck” wood chipper (a landscape power tool – throw in the tree branches and duck), French Broad River in North Carolina has inflatable kayaks called ducks. Navigating a waterway in a “duck” kayak is called duckying. Dave’s comment about Scalia’s duck ruling: “The Supreme Court has been ducking this issue much too long. If they didn’t clarify the issue soon, I’m sure Congress would have introduced a bill.”

Amanda & Adam: boy & girl farmer duck, duck tricycle, VFW duck labels, antique duck nightlight, duck bath shower stickups, Bluejean Duck (cloth duck)

Branson, Missouri: Bass Pro Shop has large display of mounted ducks.
Got a duck coloring book. Ordered a cloth duck whirligig at Alpena.
Ride-the-Duck mug, salt & pepper shakers, T-shirt, bell, dog toy.
Leta Mae: Plush electronic praying duck “Now I lay me down to sleep ….”, squeaky rubber ducks, alien ducks (green, blue, purple, pink), pair of ceramic flirting ducks, electric Christmas Peeps (look like the marshmallow peeps), ducks with bobbing heads , cloth basket duck, pink duck, life preserver duck, baby crib set (liner, washcloth, shoes, carry bag), rubber ducks, duck marionettes, wire frame ducks, squeaky platypus toy, 3 plush ducks ball player/resting/beanie baby, valentine duck, pink/white/yellow/blue fluffy ducks.

Sgt. Chadduck of the Rogers Police Department provides gang violence seminars.
My plush duck puppet started working …. quacks “here comes peter cottontail”
Red Dirt’s step-dad carves wooden decoy ducks.
James Allen – Stone Mountain Georgia Ride the Ducks photos and Wacky Quacker.
Steve Renfro: notes keyboard symmetry when typing the word duck
Ed Gee: PBS quote of the day “Feeding ducks is like a relaxing brain massage.”

The Milner Duck Farm: StepMother: – Brown cast Duck, Brass Duck Key clasp, Embossed Duck drinking Glass, Decoy Style duck
Crystal – Duck Puppet, Duck Plate, 1946 books: The Downy Duck, The Little duck who loved the rain, spice rack
Melody: book - “It’s a Dog eat Dog World and the Cats are Waiting Tables,” by Martin Babb (stories by an Arkansas preacher), Duck Pajama Pants, Duck house with 4 rubber ducks

Billboard on Hwy 71B, entering Springdale from the South, has a duck
Aflac – continued duck advertising excellence
Huggies has duck-as-secret-admirer commercial
Suburu Forester ad demonstrates transport to where the ducks are.
Hundai … almost duck music, Pink Panther theme “duh, duh-duh ….”

May 9, 2008 mother duck & 7 ducklings waddled onto driveway of the press briefing room of the White House, followed by the secret service.

Miscellaneous Babbling:
Griff the dog, suffering from old age, got a loose tooth. The Good Fairy brought him a hotdog. The other dog, Benji, still had strong teeth but he bit young William so pretty soon, there was more white space/no dogs.

If you need a new social security card, don’t apply for it in person with your birth certificate. Get somebody else to request the card for you. For one thing, the Social Security office doesn’t accept birth certificates. You need a driver’s license …. photo ID. I took my license and Eric’s license and applied for replacement cards. They sent Eric’s but somehow lost mine. So I got Leta Mae to take my driver’s license and apply for a replacement for my social security card and they sent it right away.

Leta Mae’s sister, Robbie, came to visit for a couple weeks in April. We only see her at 4 year intervals so there is always a lot of catching up to do.

James Allen sent the source for the leadership quote, “…. of a great leader, the people will say, ‘We did this all by ourselves.’” It is from the “Tao Te Ching” section # 17, supposedly written by Lao-Tse, the founder of Taoism. When or if Lao-Tse ever existed remains in question. What we can be pretty sure of is that Taoism (pronounced “Dowism”) is not related to the Dow Jones Industrial Average.
The epoxy putty that you knead and stick it wherever you want, like chewing gum – it really is pretty durable/strong. Eric repaired my belt buckle with “Liquid Steel” and it has worked just fine for at least six months.

I made cinnamon apples … the wind blew down another apple tree this spring, but there was still enough attachment to the roots to produce apples!

No more peanut butter & jelly sandwich …
In my younger days, bread and jam was considered to be junk-food. “Man cannot live by bread alone, he must have peanut butter.” For years, my lunch consisted of a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. Now the nutritionist says there are two problems with peanut butter. First, hydrogenated oils are used as an emulsifier, resulting in a peanut butter that causes cholesterol problems. In addition, while they are growing, peanuts soak up pesticides in the soil. Now I have what I wanted in the first place, a strawberry jam sandwich.

Computers are fairly strong. We found some old Gateway computers in a dumpster. They rested on the ground, under the eaves of the house for a couple years after that. Then Eric’s computer burned out. So he went out in the yard and got one of those computers, blew out the spiders and grass clipping, swapped the hard drives and resumed computing.

I got a letter from the county explaining how the Duck Farm was in violation of the junkyard ordinance. Now there is a lot more white space at the Duck Farm. No more Duckmobile, no more boat, no more treehouse, no more lathe, no more bandsaw ….
The folks here at Nob Hill voted 347 – 42 that we need to pay more taxes. I wasn’t the only one to vote NO. There was 41 others!!!!

Dec 1 was a memorable time. I met my mother’s friend, Janet Synaground. Janet, through my mother, had commissioned Eric to make an electronic holistic health device a couple of years ago. She provided the schematic/plans. Eric just had to scrounge up parts and solder them together. Janet is retired from a strange occupation. She used to live in a big city and work for a large church as a member of a 3-person death squad. The death squad is a group of people trained to assist folks during the time immediately following the death of a loved one. It’s kind of a maid/butler/cook/chauffeur/counselor kind of duty. Bereaved folks are often in shock and overlook details like cleaning the bathroom, closing the refrigerator door, dressing themselves appropriately to greet visitors, etc. Janet was working gratis for my mother as my step-father had just died. He sat down to lunch and said the blessing; then his aortic aneurysm burst and he passed on to heaven. David Gainey was buried at the national cemetery in Ft. Smith with military honors, including a cannon firing.

A couple days ago, Monday, sister-in-law Denece went to the nursing home to visit her declining mother, Wanda Roach. Apparently rooms had been reassigned and Denece asked for her mother’s room number. “Oh, she’s not here anymore. She died Saturday. You’ll have to go to the funeral home to see her,” they said. Denece and her daughter, Marsha, went to the funeral home and scheduled a cremation. To serve as an urn for the ashes, Denece got a ceramic white Persian cat.

The school machine shop is now more consistent with the new world order. It even has a new, modern Haas CNC milling machine (computerized metal cutting). Equipment was moved out until there was room to walk around each remaining item. Then everything was painted white. We took a day off from painting to go to a Zig Zigler motivational seminar. The students still managed to learn stuff . Two of them went to the national vocational competitions (SkillsUSA) to place 8th in CNC Turning and 8th in CNC Milling.

With 225,000 miles, the Duck Truck caught a winter flu. Now the Duck Farm fleet is expanded to include a 2008 Ford Ranger. The 1988 S-10 is now called the Duck Truck GT (GT stands for Gravel Truck). For the present, the new truck is the Duck Truck AC (AC stands for Air Conditioned).

Repairs sometimes look worse than they are. I have a place on my back that appears to me to be at least 3 inches long, held together with 10 stitches, a quarter of an inch apart. When measuring with a tape measure, since the first stitch is a zero point, the length is only 2 and a quarter inches. Of course, I want to count both sides of the closure – to make 4 and a half inches! But then I have to divide that by PI to get the diameter that was removed. I had a couple of basal cell skin cancers in a space that was about 1 ½ inches diameter. It would be called minor surgery if it was performed on someone else!!! – more white space …..

Duck Manifesto:

Congratulations to the oil companies on taking over where housing left off. The housing bubble worked well for local governments. Real estate prices and, hence, tax revenues kept rising. Homeowners agreed with the assessor’s offices saying, “Yup, my $20,000 house was a good investment and has risen in value to $200,000!” Now real estate prices have dropped and many local governments are being forced to accept more realistic property valuations and less tax revenue. Once upon a time, Exxon didn’t make much money and didn’t pay much tax. Then Exxon got a $5 billion fine for the Exxon Valdez incident in 1994. But Exxon finally saw the light! Charging $4 a gallon for gas, they make a lot of money and PAY A LOT OF TAX (coincidentally, Feb 7, 2008 the $5 billion was reduced to around half a billion). After paying taxes, Exxon distributed a lot of the profit to shareholders. Then the shareholders paid A LOT OF TAX on the dividends. So, as fuel climbs to $5 or $10 a gallon, be glad that lots of tax will be collected to fund all sorts of worthwhile government projects such as economic stimulus checks.

T. Boone Pickens has aligned himself with the Rod’s Duck Farm Division of Research and Development, headed by Thomas Leech. People want cheap, clean “white” power – electricity for the kitchen to make toast. (Eric points out, “Even diesel locomotives are electric. The diesel engine drives a generator that powers electric motors at the wheels.”) Thomas Leech and T. Boone Pickens know that the wind-powered wings on a whirly-gig duck could be driving magnets past coils of wire – transforming a flow of air to a flow of electrons. The feasibility of wind power has increased vastly because of recent improvements in materials – rare earth magnets and carbon fiber airfoils. Bob Dylan said it best, “The answer my friend, is blowin’ in the wind ……”

Times change. Progress requires change. I suppose that is what all this white space and new world order stuff is all about. They say people like change as long as it isn’t happening TO them. A lot of progress has been made. When the United States was founded, people fought against taxes. Now people demand more taxes. At one time slaves were dragged, kicking and screaming, into the country to perform farm labor. Now Mexicans fight their way, kicking and screaming, into the country to perform farm labor. It is called increasing the demand, encouraging people to focus their wants in a desired way. Somehow, those Persians – those in Iraq, Iran, Pakistan and Afghanistan – they are going to have to WANT to water their lawn and mow it and apply fertilizer and pesticide and demand to pay more taxes because their property is more valuable due to having a well manicured lawn.

Eric and I missed a Toastmasters meeting and the club decided to disband.
Now Northwest Arkansas Toastmasters Club is – Toast.

“Think & Grow Rich” by Napolean Hill …. there have been various reprints and updates since the original publication in 1937. (Actually, the 1937 book was a new improved version of Mr. Hills’s 1928 “The Laws of Success”) Andrew Carnegie commissioned Mr. Hill to study the “process of success”. The book is the culmination of 20 years of interviewing over 500 highly successful people such as Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, and Theodore Roosevelt. If you have been looking for a non-sectarian self-help book, this is it.

Just Remember: If people spent more time thinking about ducks, they’d spend less time thinking about other things!

Plenty of Ducks in the Sea

Here's noteworthy graphy. Reminds me of the duck flotilla ..... about a zillion rubber ducks fell off a freighter into the North Pacific back in 1992 ...... they are still floating around today. I suppose they would make good target practice .... or maybe that's a hair dryer - fried duck?
Quack, Quack!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Supreme Court Decision - Ducks, Masters of Amusement

Antonin Scalia, United States Supreme Court Judge received a 2nd lifetime achievement award.
It is a duck ...... sort of a commentary regarding Scalia's hunting trip with Dick Cheney.
Scalia's response was, "Nothing is as funny as a duck."

Now that we have a Supreme Court decision regarding ducks and humor, one must interpret the decision.

Did he mean that, with respect to a duck, ZERO is equally funny?
Or ........... did he intend to establish a duck as the acme of humor?
Does this apply to ducks (plural) or only to some specific (singular) duck?

Fortunately, from the games of soccer and cricket, we know that a score of ZERO is called a "Duck" ..... ie., "At the game yesterday, the Mashers scored 2 points while the Stompers got a duck."

In other words, "Nothing" IS a "Duck".
Put another way, "A duck IS nothing."
Therefore a truism exists: "Nothing is as funny as a duck."
AND "A duck is as funny as nothing."

Of course, such a line of reasoning is simple folly.
There can be little doubt that Judge Scalia's decision can be most accurately restated as:

"A duck is the epitome of jocularity."

Sunday, May 25, 2008

The Keys to the Whole Situation

These could be Florida keys .... but right now they are in Arkansas. The Duck Tool Box set has locks and keys. The keys are on a duck key chain and a Ducks Unlimited key fob.
Locks are sort of like smoking cigarettes. If it wasn't for cigarette smoking, there wouldn't be so many creative ashtrays, lighters, cigarette cases and other accessories.
Key create a market for a hugh variety of key related items .... some of them being DUCK related.
Fortunately I am just a duck farmer. If I was a lock smith .... then I would have to think about locks ..... Goldilocks, the Loch Ness monster, Lox & Bagels ....
Is a Duck Key ...... ducky? Duck Key is also one of the Florida Keys, between Conch Key and Marathon. If somebody says, "Gimme da key," it takes a keen ear and the context of the situation to know exactly what the statement means.
Perhaps keys should go the way of cigarettes ..... just outlaw locks and keys .... such things are just symbols of privacy anyway ....
Without locks and keys, society could free up all the people engaged in that business and the related trappings .... store shelves would have more space ..... it would be great!
Of course there would be some diehard finding uses for key rings and key fobs anyway ... ornaments for pierced noses, paperclip organizers, measuring spoon holders, etc.
Is it the keys of life or the kiss of life? ..... da kiss or duh kiss? Without exact enunciation duh kiss is DUCKS!
Quack, Quack!

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Um ..... Bill ....... Lick ..... Cool

I don't know this duck's name. Maybe it is Bill. We'll say his name is Bill. He's pretty cool.
He can take a lick.
Hit him in the stomach and he quacks.
There is an electronic quacker somewhere around his belly button.
Of course, since ducks are hatched, they don't have belly buttons.
But Bill has a belly button. If you press the button, he quacks.
Otherwise he just sits on the couch in silence.
Bill is not a couch potato. He is a couch duck.
The way you can tell the difference is that potatoes do not quack.
Ducks and potatoes both have eyes, they are both edible.
Potatoes are more like a duck-billed platypus ... they are both from "down" under.
I don't think a platypus or a potato ...... I don't think they have down.
They don't have down under or over. Ducks have down under their feathers.
Quack, Quack!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Giant Duck - 4 Foot Duckling on the Rampage!

Where does a 500 pound canary roost?
.... anywhere he wants ...... yes, but how 'bout a 4 foot duckling?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Sitting Ducks

You can watch TV on your polluter.
One of the greatest shows in the world is "Sitting Ducks".
It is about the comraderie of ducks and alligators.
Here is the link.

If people spent more time thinking about ducks,
They'd spend less time thinking about other things.

Quack, Quack!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Innovation of the Year Award

"Southern rock songs are just like southern yards, covered with crap. But we southerners, even displaced northerner southerners like myself, love having piles of useless crap in our yards. We also love southern rock, but we do appreciate those rare occasions when one of our neighbors puts some air in his trailer tires and takes a load of crap to the dump." - Dave Renfro
This may look like a broken down truck but actually it is a combination dumpster/mailbox.
It is mostly white and represents an excellent form of recycling and multi-tasking. Some folks wrongly think that their military service and the military service of their forefathers entitles them to buy a piece of land and live on it, storing what they like, as they please .... freedom.
Them rednecks can't even spell free-dumb ..... freed'em is only for slaves. Everybody else is supposed to live in a standard normal place that looks something like Homer Simpson's neighborhood. American's are not supposed to have to look at stuff they don't understand, like a yard full of old bulldozers or who-knows-what-else somebody might leave laying around.
The main purpose of "fighting for one's country" is to gain an appreciation for things like chain-of-command and orderliness.
Although the dumpster/mailbox wins the Rod's Duck Farm Innovation of the Year Award, I'm sure it is not up to normal standards. It will have to go. Probably there is some kind of constitutional issue, like the separation of Mailbox and Dumpster.
Did the unit evolve, or was it created? Perhaps if the creator will provide an affidavit and testify that the Mailbox Dumpster simply evolved, the Household Input/Output System can remain.
"Freedom's just another word for nothin-left-to-lose ..." Janus

Sunday, February 3, 2008

More Stuff

At first glance this is reminescent of white space. One thinks windows.... Windows 98?
Why not Vista or something?
But it is so much more than windows. There are hinges, handles, glass, fasteners to affix the handles and hinges, glazing pins to hold the glass in the frames ..... things get so complicated so quickly. How much is too much? Throw out the glazing pins or the wood screws?
Wow!!!! There's no window latch(es). Probably should have just left the wall alone .... simple white space with no hole, no window.
Quack, Quack!

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Snowy Day

January 31, 2008 ............. the New World Order has arrived. No junk, no trash, everything is snow covered - nice, neat, orderly. Some day every place will look like either the North or South pole. Then everybody will be happy!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

White Space

Kind of like the North Pole ..... It's called White Space.
It works on the concept that less is more.
Sort of like the vacuum cleaner.
How do you clean a vacuum?
Quack, Quack!