Sunday, May 25, 2008

The Keys to the Whole Situation

These could be Florida keys .... but right now they are in Arkansas. The Duck Tool Box set has locks and keys. The keys are on a duck key chain and a Ducks Unlimited key fob.
Locks are sort of like smoking cigarettes. If it wasn't for cigarette smoking, there wouldn't be so many creative ashtrays, lighters, cigarette cases and other accessories.
Key create a market for a hugh variety of key related items .... some of them being DUCK related.
Fortunately I am just a duck farmer. If I was a lock smith .... then I would have to think about locks ..... Goldilocks, the Loch Ness monster, Lox & Bagels ....
Is a Duck Key ...... ducky? Duck Key is also one of the Florida Keys, between Conch Key and Marathon. If somebody says, "Gimme da key," it takes a keen ear and the context of the situation to know exactly what the statement means.
Perhaps keys should go the way of cigarettes ..... just outlaw locks and keys .... such things are just symbols of privacy anyway ....
Without locks and keys, society could free up all the people engaged in that business and the related trappings .... store shelves would have more space ..... it would be great!
Of course there would be some diehard finding uses for key rings and key fobs anyway ... ornaments for pierced noses, paperclip organizers, measuring spoon holders, etc.
Is it the keys of life or the kiss of life? ..... da kiss or duh kiss? Without exact enunciation duh kiss is DUCKS!
Quack, Quack!

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Um ..... Bill ....... Lick ..... Cool

I don't know this duck's name. Maybe it is Bill. We'll say his name is Bill. He's pretty cool.
He can take a lick.
Hit him in the stomach and he quacks.
There is an electronic quacker somewhere around his belly button.
Of course, since ducks are hatched, they don't have belly buttons.
But Bill has a belly button. If you press the button, he quacks.
Otherwise he just sits on the couch in silence.
Bill is not a couch potato. He is a couch duck.
The way you can tell the difference is that potatoes do not quack.
Ducks and potatoes both have eyes, they are both edible.
Potatoes are more like a duck-billed platypus ... they are both from "down" under.
I don't think a platypus or a potato ...... I don't think they have down.
They don't have down under or over. Ducks have down under their feathers.
Quack, Quack!